Music: "Magnet" - Hook n Sling
3:12p
I didn't think I'd ever find my way back here. I would give this blog a glance every once in a while, but this is the first real chance in nearly two or three months (I've really lost track) I've had to really sit and talk. So much has been going on in that length of time, and some of it has been really life changing.
Where I last left off, way back in September, I was about to have the last of my wisdom teeth removed, so I could go on to the next step in the process. The surgery went well; I spent the rest of that week at home recovering. John was always in the picture; if he wasn't texting or calling me to see how I was doing (and too bad I couldn't say that about my other friends), he was always by my side. Having him around really meant a lot, and he made the whole process a lot easier to deal with. Upon returning to the doctor to have the stitches taken out, and the swelling had gone down, I learned that they had damaged the nerve that runs along your jaw while they were removing the tooth on the bottom. There was no way around it. I ended up with temporary numbness on the left side of my mouth and jaw, and I was given anywhere from 3-6 months before I got any feeling back. That left me in a terrible state of depression, and now I had another worry. Bad enough I was self-conscious before. I couldn't look at people when I talked. I had a hard time eating. Sleeping. Speaking. Now, nearly two months later, to an outsider, I look normal (for me). I still have no feeling on my left side. I have good days and I have bad days. I am a bit deterred though; I can't move forward with the process until this problem goes away. I feel like I keep getting knocked down, but I know it will be worth it in the end.
Meanwhile, John and I have been spending a lot of our free time together. When he's not on call for a job, and I'm not working, we're together. I love it when we get time together; and no amount of time together is nearly enough. I'm still figuring out some things, but he's a really great guy. I'm lucky to have him.
I am officially 30. My birthday was better than I could have hoped for; I celebrated with friends and family. Even John was able to make the party at the house; even though he'd just driven home from Tyler all night the night before, and hadn't slept in two days, against my wishes for him to stay home and get some rest, he still made it. My 30th was amazing, and I wouldn't have done it any differently. Do I feel older? I haven't had time to process it, but I can feel a slight difference. :)
John went back home to Oklahoma on Sunday for a job, and to see his home for the first time since the tornadoes hit back on May 31st. I miss him. I've been using the time apart to work some overtime at work (and I feel slightly guilty for not going in before; but I was still new in my QA job, and our overtime wasn't mandatory. Plus...more time with John) to make some money on the side, for Christmas. I can't believe the holidays are here again (and I'm already sick of Christmas, let's just get that out of the way).
Other than all that, I've been trying to grow as a person and adult. Getting my medical bills paid off felt so liberating! Now I can finally turn my attention to finding my own place, and get out from under my parents' roof. I crave that freedom so bad, I can taste it.
It feels good typing on here again. I should do it more often. ;) I can't wait to see what's next. Until next time....
