Diamonds in the sky..

Music: "Diamonds"- Rihanna
10:45a

Well, it sure has been a while since I've had time to sit down and write. I kinda missed it. So many things have happened in the past 13 days....

On my last Sunday at work, I couldn't get out fast enough. I *almost* managed to slip out early, if it weren't for the fact that I needed to put some information in the computer, and then I kept getting stuck with simple tasks, one after the other. I wanted someone to put me out of my misery and say I could go home. I ended up getting off on time. Not sure on how the next 11 days were going to go, I started planning out the things I wanted to get accomplished. Monday I succeeded in getting about 10 things done at once. Okay, so far, good start to this vacation.

Tuesday while trying to finally decide a date for this appointment, John called me to say he was back home in Texas. He was just up the road from me, car shopping. JK dealer, really? Haha, ugh you can't convince these dudes. I didn't see him though; he had to head right back to Spring to see about a computer he'd bought that was acting less than what should be acceptable. Wednesday was what would get the ball rolling....in so many ways. 

The date is now set. I got up first thing Wednesday morning and overcame the nerves that were pushing me over the edge, and confirmed an appointment. I ended up having to push the desired date a week back, but I'm not sure if that's supposed to give my job a more advanced heads-up, or if that's supposed to give me more time to stress. I'm ready to get that part over with, so I can move on to the next step. 

I went back out to Humble to meet up with Heather. It was fun to have a girl's day. It was nice to hit up all our favorite stores, and swap stories about our lives and friends, and just have time to hang out. I've known her now going on 15 years. Love her to death. I just wish I had more time to hang out with her. After swapping stories about having our teeth ripped out, I headed back home to get ready to see John after a month and a half. The reunion felt great. I wasn't sure how much time I'd have with him, so I enjoyed the night we spent together, not knowing when the time would come around again. 

I spent the majority of my weekend off with him, if not all. To have that one-on-one time felt great; to get to know each other (talking about in person), to laugh and learn and see where things go. Sitting outside his house one night, looking at the stars, he told me about how when he's out in the middle of the water, how you could see every single star, lit up and it being the most beautiful thing. Like diamonds in the sky.... I hope one day I can travel and see what he has seen and experienced. 

My time is slipping away, like sand through an hourglass. He's leaving for Brazil next week. I won't see him for a couple of months. I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with that. We will still have contact with each other this time around. I'm not sure through what means, but as long as we can still talk back and forth, I'll take it, I just won't be able to see him, hear his voice, until he comes back home. And it's like he knows; last night, while talking to him through IM, the news of his trip finally sank in, and I got upset. Not a minute later, my phone rang. I told him I fee like I'm being selfish. I'm really going to miss him. 

Today is my last chance to see him before he goes. It's like a drug; you keep taking hits, only to have to quit cold turkey. I want to see him as much as I can, but that will make it all the more difficult when I have to leave back home tonight. I am going to have to find something to do, because I don't take separation very well, especially if that person means a lot to me. I'm not afraid; I know we can make this work. When I first met him, way back on Myspace, we talked back and forth for a few years, before we lost contact. He found me again, in December of last year, after 3 years. Something brought us back together after all that time. It was meant to be, and possibly a bigger sign of what could be. Again, I'm not afraid.

I've spent too much time on here, typing away, and thinking about this past week and the future. All in all, this vacation probably trumps the last one in many ways. My days are mixed up, and going back to work is going to be a complete bitch. I'm off to find something to do. Until next time...

So many things, so little time...

Music: A-really-really-good-song-that-I-can't-name-because-I'll-get-in-trouble-and-may-never-hear-it-again-and-if-you-don't-give-me-one-for-my-own-I-will-cry. lol
5p

I really hate it when the fates screw with me. Those assholes. These past couple of weeks have about driven me up the wall with all the waiting and nail-biting I've been doing, and not just for me....

A family member is looking for a job, and had a very good lead, but heard nothing back, so lately I've been the moral support in job-hunting. And speaking of opportunity, mine may have been put on the back burner for now, although the person I spoke to said they are interested still. I'm just going to enjoy the time I have right now, until something changes. 

This all could possibly tie in to how I pay off a new car note soon. I'm still car-shopping, and getting more depressed by the minute. The car at the top of my list may be just out of my reach, unless I do the aforementioned task. So I'm looking at other options (the Nissans are waaaayyy too expensive, so screw them, I really don't want another Chevy, since the Cobalts are no longer in production, and the Scions? Heh, I can kiss that one goodbye, too.). I came across the Kia Soul earlier this week, base of $15,000. Now that's more like it! I've always been rather fond of them, and the more I researched them, the more likable they became. So I'm down to my top two; Honda Civic coupe, or Kia Soul.....and I'm not-so-patiently awaiting the 2014's to come out. I'm going to have to trade my car in soon..time is ticking. She's got her oil changed, tires are still like-new, and I just had new wipers put on today. She's still in great shape, for being half a decade old. A new car would be an awesome early birthday present....

And speaking of which, I'm still planning everything out for the big day; where I want to go, etc. I'm still planning on taking the weekend off (the day falls on a Saturday), and am going to put that in this weekend. I swear I'm not ending up like the last time.....that was no fun. Now that I'm less than two months out, getting there will be half the journey; after next month's surgery, it will be an awesome reward for making it as far as I have, and I can finally start the process to fix these damn teeth. I'm excited, nervous, anxious, but so ready to get that part over with. Then I can celebrate. After this weekend, I will be on vacation for 11 days, so I've got plenty of time to finally sit down and plan everything out, and finally set the date. This is it, and again, time is ticking down....this has to happen. No more waiting or excuses. 

And speaking of vacation...I'm not sure how this one will top the one I took in July. Going into this weekend, I had a not-so-good outlook, except to take care of personal things (the surgery, birthday plans, some basic running around), and see friends. But I wasn't sure about John. These last few weeks, communication between us has been just one or two lines back and forth, and it's been driving me insane not being able to talk to him. Things didn't appear to be going well on his end. I just found out today that he is planning on taking some time off during the week, and possibly next weekend, and he's coming home. I'm so excited it's all I can do to not take off to LA and drag him back. I just found the drive to make it through the next three days (even if they do stick me up in the air all day again....I still hate heights!). 

Sunday night can't come fast enough.........

Until next time.

Ask yourself will it ever get better.

Music: "Can't Sleep"- Above and Beyond
3:20p

You know, I started writing this up on Monday, was going to come back, forgot about it, so here we are. It's Thursday. The week got away from me, I guess (even though I'd said I was free all week). One thing about last weekend (that I was originally going to write), was I learned the entire computer part of working the docks, and after spending all damn day working Flow for the very first time, I felt cut-off from the rest of the warehouse, and once again was on mental overload. So much to have to know, and I have got to start learning to interact with people again. It's not easy. I got so comfortable not having to talk to people on a daily basis, and while I enjoyed that part, there was still something lacking. Not only that, but upon walking through the doors to Phase 1 on Sunday, my former manager asked me to....yes, haul. Hauling and not being on production was awesome. I spent maybe the first two hours doing that, until Joe needed my PE, because his crapped out. Oh, well. Back to walking again in the blasted heat. Was a tiring day overall. 

So I saw this week that I will NEVER go back to Myspace. Ever. I'm lucky I got all my pics back, but the blog is no more, and that pisses me off, because I had so many memories and important things in there. I SHOULD have backed those up, but a certain SOMEONE never would show me how. A little angry we are, yes? I'm going to start transferring my old pics to a flash drive, because at least I know how to do THAT. I FUCKING hate technology and the assholes that run it. I'm done, and off the soapbox I go....

I lacked on sleep this week, thanks to a sore mouth after having the procedure done last week. So bad was I lacking, I spent most of the week in a bad mood. I ended up catching back up last night, sleeping nearly 12 hours. Thank God...and right before the weekend gets going again. 

Someone made my day 10 times better yesterday....John. I spent nearly all day talking to him, the first since last month we'd talked that long. Found even more things we have in common (does it end? :P ), and did our usual joking back and forth. Even when my friend Jessica came over to swim, I was still in and out, checking my messages. He is off to Brazil next month, and I've never had anyone be that far away from me. I don't like it, but I know it's for his job. It's going to be difficult, but I'm hoping he doesn't have to stay long. He's going to miss my surgery and my birthday, but I know he'll be there in spirit. I miss him....

I learned through a friend today of an opportunity. Not sure what I'm going to do yet, but the pros outweigh the cons by a long shot. I'm going to be giving up a lot, but I'm sick of waiting to get the things that I want. If I don't do this, or if I'm not given the opportunity after all (and my chances look good), then I have to wait a little longer. I'm tired of waiting!! While everyone else gets to start living their lives, I'm ALWAYS left behind. Not anymore.....I don't want to say 'everyone wish me luck', because I'm merely letting this one play out on its own....it's whatever God decides is right for me. 

For now, I'm going to work and just try to get the other more important things straightened out: vacation, surgery, and my birthday. Whatever happens in between will be dealt with accordingly. Until then, have a good weekend. I'll be back soon...