I can't keep going like this.

10:30p

I was hoping to come home tonight and post about meeting my friend Jon last night for the first time in 8 years. But every time I find a little bit of happiness, it gets ripped away from me.

Today was the day from hell.

I got no sleep last night. I was coming off a high from meeting Jon and being blown away by just how much we have in common, and how well we got along. But something wouldn't let me sleep. I could see just what was going to happen when I woke up the next morning. I tried to push that away and think positive. I woke up early, and got going.

Although Jessica was a bit late, as she overslept, I wasn't mad at her. After filling up my car, we headed out to Humble. My car was acting so strange; the stereo kept switching itself to Auxiliary, no matter what I did, it kept switching itself back. My cord was not plugged in, and hadn't even been in the car for a couple of days. I couldn't even play a CD. I was pissed, and about ready to rip out the stereo system myself. 

Jessica and I went to Plato's, hoping to sell some of our clothes, and make some money. I had two pairs of jeans, a sweater, and two thermal shirts. Jessica had three bags of stuff. They took most all of her stuff, and she made a buttload of money. What did I get?

They took one shirt. One god damn shirt. For two fucking dollars.

They didn't take my sweater, which was in PERFECT condition, like-new, whereas I saw some clothes that looked like shit, with their faded shirts and clothes with marks on them, or even tears.

"We buy gently used brand-name clothes" my ASS. 

I will never go there again. You pay nearly just as much for their re-sale stuff as you would in the stores. 

I was pissed, and yes, a little jealous. 

So Jessica and I headed to the mall. We looked in all of the stores. Jessica had some luck in a store with finding a nice sweater, but I guess I am just not made to wear clothes. I am too bony and skinny to wear stuff like Jessica does. Everything I tried on was too big, too tight, or too small. And yes, all of them in my size range. I was depressed because I want to wear stuff like girls my age do, and I have to be stuck with jeans and T-shirts, because that's all that will fit me. So sorry, sis, I really do have to look like a 12-year old, because I'm not made to wear clothes. 

We walked around the mall, waiting out the worst of the rush hour traffic at this point. So we decided to go get a cookie and walk down to Starbucks and see if we could pick up wifi. Oh,  cookie! You'll make me feel better after this shitty day I'm having, right? 

We got to Starbucks and of course I had no wifi, so I lived vicariously through Jess who had it on her phone, and ate. I got up to go wash my hands, and there was a lady and her baby trying to wash their hands. An employee was in there, too, and I moved aside to let her pass. She didn't say 'excuse me', but I did sort of smile at her politely. I moved to the sink. The lady with her baby had to move to the first sink, because the other wasn't working. She said 'excuse me' and I let her by, and I smiled again. The employee comes back in and bitches me out saying 'such a nice smile. I'm glad I got to see it!' in the most sarcastic tone she could muster. Had the little baby not been in there, she'd have regretted that remark. This is why I carry my knife wherever I go. I wasn't sure who the bitch was talking to, but I remarked to the lady next to me about how people were weird. She shook her head in agreeance. 

I walked back out and told Jessica, after we left the store. We should have walked back in and found a manager to complain to. We did try to call after we left the mall. Every number we tried was either a defunct number, the wrong location, or some recording on how I need to buy an iPad. My friend suggested I call cooparate or try to email. I will be doing just that. It's not right to get treated like that.

The stereo acting fine on the way back. That fucking bitch. But sitting at the light, when it was my turn to go, the car did nothing when I pushed the pedal down. The fuck! I have no idea what was going on with my car today. 

We made it back in one piece, and Jessica and I chilled at my house watching the Restraunt Impossible show. It was nice to have that company and laugh at the end of the day. The highlight of my day was having Jessica there. She's a good friend, and I'm not sure what I did to deserve her. I don't feel like I deserve anything. I am just tired of being treated so poorly by people. I have a good attitude and I am nice to people, but I just get overlooked. I'm just tired of trying. Maybe it's better to have the bad attitude, because I do it so well. It may push people away, but only those who know me and know me well will stick around. 

I am feeling in the worst mood right now. I just wish I didn't have to spend so much time alone. Someone to talk to and talk me out of whatever crazy thing I end up doing. Kinda like drinking, which I am doing right now. I need it after such a bad day. I want thiings to get better, I want to be the person everyone just gravitates to, smiles at, treats like everyone else.

For now though, I am just not in the mood. I jus hpe tings get better. 

I'm out of ideas on this one.

Music: "World on Fire"- A&B
9????

I haven't had a single moment to relax since coming home. I am anxious, and ready to get my last day at work over with. I have way too much nervous energy on the weekends. Probably why I am still up typing this. I can't wait for tomorrow night when I can come home and sleep a good 12 hours. 

Day two......

No one died. 

C dock. 

Best production in weeks.

No one died.

Haulers crack me the fuck up.

I got lost (how the fuck you get lost from hauling?? Only me...). Twice. Next time I'll read the numbers 10 times if that's what it takes. *muttering* Stupidbrainformixingupthenumbers

It's always a good day when you catch me singing in the isles. 

No one died. (I nearly ran over a shipping hauler, but it was their fault for attempting to run a stop sign)

It's always a good day when the unloaders compliment me on doing a good job. Numerous times. I'll never get tired of hearing that. Lets me know I must be doing something right.

And finally, no one died.

All in all, it was a good day, now lets see what tomorrow brings....at any rate, it's Friday!! One more week and I'll be free...FREE!!!! Then *I'll* be the one laughing! Muahaha.

I still really need my own tv show.

Music: news coverage out of MA. They got those fucking slimeball mother fuckers! 
8:45p

First off, my thoughts and prayers go out to those affected by the bombings on Monday, and the plant explosion on Wednesday in West, Texas. Hoping everyone can sleep a little easier tonight. 

This has been a really shitty week for our country.

But back in my world, it was a shitty day at work. To make a long story short, and I'll probably go more into detail later, this is how it went down..

I ran late this morning, even though I was up 10 minutes earlier than my alarm. Fail.

I cussed out a lift driver this morning for his blatant lack of respect, not to mention ignorance. I was admonished by the QA manager. I know someone else who won't be happy either when I mention it to him....

I failed on production twice in a row. Once for not having the production to begin with, second for another meeting this morning for each individual area. How many more hits to production can this hauler take? BUT, we're getting new machines! BETTER ones! This is good news for me, as I will hopefully be able to pilot the new ones better. YES! No more sore arms! 

Maintenance had to take away my fun (I'm being sarcastic), by taking away my machine. Why must they always have to pick on ME. I was left with a machine that although steered great, every time I went to raise the forks, the battery would get disconnected, which meant I had to reboot my computer about 4 times in a row. When I finally got my machine back (I nearly begged the guy), and informed him about the problem with my temporary, he just shrugged it off like whatever. Ugh, retard. Whatever they did to my poor machine, it started moving slower, and the steering felt different. GRRRRRR.

I managed to wedge something I ate in between my wisdom teeth, and I can not for the life of me remove it. Now I know why the doc ordered them taken out!! I believe I will now find out about getting that done first. NO MORE. 

Kill me now. I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry. (Yes, it was one of THOSE days)

I knocked over a pallet by turning a corner too fast, and the guy working across didn't even come over to help. He did keep starting at me though. I could have really given him something to stare at in the form of a middle finger, but decided I loved my job too much (or do I?). The boxes were heavy, and I was pissed. I'm sure he enjoyed those dirty go-to-hell looks I kept shooting his way. 

A mexican nearly wrecked me on the freeway coming home...swerving in and out...and what else would she be doing but be on a damn cell phone? 

That's the run down, I'm too tired to go into more detail. See? I need my own show, then I can laugh when I go back and watch it. It's just one of those weird that's-just-my-luck type things where it just seems to happen to me. The weird and the bizarre. 

After this weekend, I'm going to need some crazy pills. Help! 

Goodnight, and pray for me....that I don't choke someone to death tomorrow. 

Life's a beach sometimes.

Music: "Here Comes the King," by X-Ray Dog (it's all James' fault. He got that song stuck in my head! :P )
12:45a

Wow did this week fly by! Seems like I just got out of work, now it's nearly time to go back! I've gotten some things accomplished this week, and made up for what could not be. I should not be this exhausted at this point! 

Monday was spent with James. It was nice for me..I didn't worry about medical stuff, or the bills I now have to pay, or coming off such a bad weekend at work. I pushed all of that out of my mind, and for once, I didn't have a million voices screaming in my head. I could think for the first time in weeks. It felt great. 

Tuesday was my lazy day. I spent the day trying to organize everything for the trip to Galveston, while keeping a close eye on Facebook to be sure the event was still on. A co-worker of mine organized a get-together for people in my area at work, down on the Bolivar peninsula. That meant I'd have to take the ferry across (from Galveston), so I spent time on Google maps trying to figure out the best routes to take there and back. Thank God I know highway 146 so well, not to mention the Seawall down on Galveston.

Jamie Lynn, you get lost going to the damn ferry, you truly are an idiot.

The route from Baytown is pretty much a straight shot to the ferry. EASY. This would be my first time driving down to the island, and the furthest I've ever driven. I had Jessica going with me, so I wouldn't be alone, plus, hey, girl's day and beach day! Who could pass that up?! I had some qualms about riding the ferry back at night, though. A three-mile, 20-minute ride across the water at night? Ugh, no thanks. I don't want to sink and die. But it would be the quickest way back, so pretty much shut up and deal with it, Jamie Lynn.

I went back to being lazy after confirming the route and supplies. I threw in a dvd and took a nap. The weather sucked, so no going out for me. I cooked dinner for my mom, who had been working outside all day, and cooked myself a quesadilla while trying to hear Hell's Kitchen. I don't know who died. So don't ask me. 

I got up this morning and loaded up the car with the cooler and chairs and food. Jessica finally got to the house, and after gassing up and making a quick stop at walmart for provisions, we hit the road. The drive wasn't so bad, and I wasn't nervous at all. Driving over the bridge in Baytown was a little rough because of the wind, and visibility was zilch. I made it to 45, and we hit the Seawall. We stopped off at Jack in the Box for a snack and I messaged Britta to let her know we had made it to the island. 

After eating, we got back in the car and headed for the Seawall. I made my way down to where the ferry was, and I still hadn't heard anything from Britta. My gut told me to pull over and see what was up before boarding the ferry. I got on Facebook, and pretty much everyone had backed out, because of the weather. It was hazy/foggy, windy and cloudy. Not ideal conditions for a beach day. She felt terrible about Jess and I going all the way down there for nothing, but I assured her we'd had a backup plan already decided in case we didn't meet up. 

Jess and I drove up and down the seawall, went down and walked on the sand, and I even tested the water. But the wind was so bad, it made it hard to enjoy the beach, so we walked across the street to the stores and shops. Afterwards, we headed down past the seawall, and I drove down to the beach my parents and I always go to. We parked on the sand and watched the people (the few there were), and fed the birds, and talked. The sun tried to come out, and we got a few minutes, but it turned dark and cloudy again no too long after. It was after 7 at this point, so we decided to head back before it got dark. I was a little bummed out that the meet-up didn't happen, and the weather didn't cooperate (one of those outside forces I'd been counting on last week), but summer will (one day) be here, plenty of opportunities! 

I really fucking hate Texas weather. Yeah, go fuck yourself. :P

Driving back wasn't bad at all, until I had to cross the bridge again. The wind was so bad coming back, that I really did feel like we were gonna get blown off the bridge. I slowed down to 45mph, and when I tried to speed back up, nothing. The wind was that bad. Then Jessica started telling me a story of some girl jumping off the bridge to her death! Jessica! Don't tell me that when I'm driving over a bridge at 45mph, when the wind is about to blow US off the bridge! Google the Hartman Bridge if you want a better idea of what I am talking about. That was the first time I actually did get nervous and start to feel a slight panic coming on. Get me off this damn thing!! 

We made it to Baytown, and we stopped at Chili's for a late supper. We ate and chatted and looked at Facebook. We made it back to my place and Jessica went on home. I left the car alone, except for taking and emptying out the cooler. The car will be cleaned inside and out tomorrow morning. Ugh, there's so much stuff in there right now. Trash, sand, everything imaginable. I could not see through my windows coming back home, they were covered in sand. 

I'm not sure how many miles I just ran today, but I know I just used nearly a half tank of gas today. That's the equivalent of three days worth of going back and forth to work for me! I have to fill it back up tomorrow. I try not to let her go below a half a tank. 

I can't believe this week has gone by so fast. I didn't want to deal with the medical stuff this week, but next week it has to be done, as I'm running out of time. I've had my fun, now I'm super exhausted, and tomorrow is another busy day, then back to work. 

I'm going to bed before my head hits the keyboard. 

Apparently, these guys like cheese.

Music: Loiter Squad and "All Nite" by Janet Jackson
11:07p

I am tired, frustrated, disappointed, but somehow still happy. I don't know why. Maybe it's because it's Sunday night and I'm free for another four days, who knows. This weekend did not end well, however, and definitely not how I'd planned. 

We were busy all weekend long. I got blessed with C dock Saturday. Finally! Redemption! 

Yeah, right! 

I pulled up my numbers for once, as C dock is easy, easy, easy. That total got shot to hell at the end of the day when I was asked to go all the way down to A dock to haul freight back to C dock. Fuck. Good thing about that was, I made production for long hauls, had plenty of help getting rid of all that shit, AND something to bring back, making that end of it a breeze, but my God, does it eat up some serious time! I almost had my daily production for once. I didn't even get a report at the end of the day today, so I have no idea how I ended up doing. 

Frustrated. Anxious. UGH!

I *knew* where I was going to be today without him even saying it. Yes, A and B. Somehow, I always end up running those two docks by myself, whether or not I get someone else assigned with me. They always end up getting pulled back to D dock, where the freight is heavier. Whatever, I still make production. Have fun doing all those long hauls, suckers! Things were going pretty good, until the meeting. That killed an hour right there, and I knew that before hand, so it was every move, every pallet I could get my hands on, trying to pull up the numbers as much as I could. I was killing it. Meeting ended, and back to grabbing easy hauls again. 

After break, I was asked to help out on D dock. I pretty much ate my words after that. I did an hour of long hauls, with nothing to bring back this time (nothing that would help that end of production). Then I decided, hey, all this stuff is being verified down on A dock, it's easy stuff. Go for it! I scanned one pallet, and I could not scan the second one. I tried about four different pallets, ending up with the same result. 

Now, I'm confused AND frustrated. The hell did things start going to the shit mill? 

So I ran to the desk. I had a manager look into what was going on. He assured me that I was open to haul from all doors. I scanned the pallet. Nothing. I buzzed the veteran hauler, and we proceeded to spend the next hour trying to figure out what the hell was going on. I had a pallet somewhere on my dock I had to get, as it was old, but where was it? 

Frustrated. 

Now, I'm yet *another* hour down on productivity. Fuck. My. Life. It's a quarter to five. No way can I make it now. 

Finally, we discovered the pallet in question was on B dock. I raced down there to find it sitting behind another pallet. I grabbed both of them and that freed me of the 'lock' I'd been put on, thanks to that God damn pallet. 

Now, I'm frustrated, irritated, tired and flat out determined not to go down without a fight. After dropping those two pallets off, the gloves came off, and everything else went out the window. I forgot everything else and let the job completely take over. I tore though C dock like a tornado, picking up every easy haul I could find, and ripping that machine apart. I more than redeemed myself.

I made my hour's production of 20 hauls....in only 30 minutes. 

By then, I noticed everyone picking up trash cans, but I kept going. Obsessed, much? I was trying to at least get to 200, that made me feel a little better. Finally we were called in, and there was nothing else I could do. Day 3 done, it's behind me, I did what I could. 

Now, I'm a little frustrated, disappointed in myself, but there were things that were out of my control, not my fault. I'm confused and unsure about some other things non-work related that just got thrown on top of it. I have no set plans this week, except for Wednesday. Remember what I said in my last post about the outside forces cooperating? Now I'm not so sure they will. Doesn't hurt to try, and I'm going to make it a good week regardless of those outside forces. 

Did I mention I love Sunday nights? I just wish I wasn't so dehydrated, or else I'd have been drinking a long time ago. I need alcohol. I don't have to think as much when I'm drinking, and there's things I just don't *want* to think about or deal with right now. Off to bed, I guess.

Oh yeah, show's over, go home.

I need a drink, and it's only Thursday.

Music: Weather Channel's tornado coverage
8p

Another week is over for me. My Thursday motto is "if you didn't do it by now, you wasted your time." I have four days out of the week to run errands, rest, see friends, and deal with whatever situation comes up, such as all this dental work I now have to have done. I now have the next two weeks planned out to the day. Who I have to call, where I have to go, and who I need/would like to see. Now I just need the outside forces to cooperate and play nice with each other! 

I decided I'd stay home yesterday and wait for the supposed 'bad weather'. The wind was out of control all day long, and with the rain coming, I decided to put off running errands until the next day. The rain finally came, and lasted pretty much all afternoon. Yep, good relaxing weather. Later on that night, I decided that this was all we were going to see, so I wasn't watching any radar as close as I'd been, so I shut everything down. I'm downstairs watching "Restraunt: Impossible" when the house suddenly lit up, and I'm sure they could hear that explosion all the way to Baytown. Then it rained harder than it had all day. The hell did this come from?? I flew back upstairs and sure enough, yes, I was an idiot for letting my guard down. What? Not like those dimwits on TV know what the hell they're doing. I enjoyed a good storm, and okay, it's over now, right? 

We had rain all afternoon, and storms all night long. About midnight, I managed a nap over all the thunder. Finally, it came so frequently (not to mention loudly), I got back up and turned the tv to a show I could tolerate, and talked to Jessica for a bit while watching radar. Between storms, I could tell the direction of the next line from where the thunder came from (but any idiot can do that). I really didn't feel like staying up all night. I crawled back into bed with my iPod set up so I could reach radar with one click. I swear I woke up every hour on the hour from the loud thunder. Each time, I clicked open the radar. At one time, there was a nasty line extending from the bay to Baytown to Crosby and Highlands. I could imagine I wasn't the only one being annoyed by the storms. I finally managed some good sleep as the storms finally moved east. 

I got up and of course the weather is going to be gorgeous when I have errands to run! I could have gone outside to work out for once! There's that Thursday motto again. Oh well, there's always next week! I have a feeling I'm about to get smacked upside the head for that one. 

I'm thinking about selling some things on Ebay to get some extra cash. I need it right now. I've been a toy collector all my life, and am going to be selling some doubles of stuff I've accumulated over the years (lots of it from when I used to work at McDonald's). I've got some valuable stuff that of course I'm never getting rid of. I've done a bit of research this week. Some items aren't that valuable unless you have a full set of something, but I figure I can make a few quick bucks. I'm picky on what I collect, and some sets aren't complete. I have some Nintendo games I will never play. If interested, I am willing to trade/sell/negotiate. I will post when I have said items on Ebay. 

I'm off to go see what kind of trouble I can get into this weekend at work. Knowing me, that won't be too hard of a task. Or run over stupid people. Fucking fleas! 

Then again, I'm sure they say the same thing about me when they see me in their isle. 

*goes off to look for that "disappear" button they're always showing on TV* 

Goodnight!

If only I could freeze time...

Music: Group Therapy #20 with A&B (I have yet to find a song I like with this episode)
11:30p

What a day it's been. If only I was firing on all cylinders! I've had all day to straighten things out, and think. I took a moment to pause and think everything through. It's not going to be an easy process, but it has to get done. So here is what I decided:

I'm going to get the worst part out of the way, and go ahead and have them fix the worst teeth..the fillings and crowns. That will be the part I won't be looking forward to. If there was an easier way for them to do it.....

Next will be the wisdom teeth. At least with that part, I know what to expect, and I can at least be knocked out while they do it. I can take a weekend off of work to have the procedure done, and use that time to recover, like I did the last time. That won't be so bad, and I'll at least have happy drugs. Happy drugs! People waiting on me hand and foot haha. 

Then, and only then will I hopefully not run into any more speed bumps, and I can finally take that first step to getting them straightened. That part will be interesting...with the Invisalign, I can take them out to eat, they will be clear, and I won't have that nasty metal taste 24/7. I *hated* that when I had braces. When I had the braces taken off back in 2003 and 2004, I loved what I saw. I loved how I looked. I had my confidence back. I was so happy! No more problems!

Now, it is uncomfortable to eat. To talk. I can't pronounce certain words. It affects my singing. It's hard to breathe. I don't like talking to people, or having my picture taken. I have forgotten what it was like to have that sense of normalcy, all that I mentioned above. It's hard to put into words. I had a brief glimpse of that life, only to have it taken away, and ended back up at square one again. I was angry and didn't know why it had to happen to me. God works in mysterious ways, or maybe I really am just special. At any rate, I'm ready to get this part over with, and get to the 'fun' stuff, if you'd call it that. I'm still super excited for that, nothing is taking away from that. 

I also got my other medical bill straightened out. The lady I talked to was super nice and was willing to work with me and the payment plan I set up. So with that out of the way, that made me feel better today, and I can sleep better tonight. After 4 nights of only 6 hours sleep, it's taken a toll on my body. I have been in and out all day, fighting it. I have three days now to relax and rest. I'm making time for friends this week, and I'm excited. Tomorrow is a girl's day, I so need this! 

Hey I finally found a song I like on here....about time!! The name is "Tracking Treasure Down". I've heard it before, it's not bad. Damn, a two hour show and not one song I liked...smh. 

So I'm going to take all of this one day at a time, and continue on. Like I said this morning, there's still lots to be thankful for, and it could be worse.....but let's not jinx it. 

I need sleep. Tomorrow is a brighter day. 

I knew it couldn't be *this* easy.

No music.
9:14a

So I just came back from the dentist. I went in for the two-week follow up, only to wish I never had. Not only am I tired, sore and have a headache, but I am also frustrated and angry. Very angry. I just don't understand anymore. So here is what I learned:

My teeth are so misaligned, that it is hard for me to clean them properly, therefore, instead of the 'normal-people-go-in-for-a-six-month-cleaning', I now have to go in every *three* months to prevent the buildup that is now causing all these problems. 

I have such a violent gag reflex, that the very last tooth in the back needs a crown before I have to have a root canal done on it. It's not going to be a fun process, but I am going to have that one done first to get it out of the way. I have two more cavities that need to be filled in the back, it won't be as bad, but it still will be painful. 

He wants me to go ahead and have the two wisdom teeth on my left side taken out. The one at the bottom is too impacted for them to clean what is back there. So now I have to go through all that all over again. Not to mention that's *another* medical bill I have to pay. I had the two on my right side taken out back in 2010. I took a week off of work. I now have to see about calling up the guy who did the last ones up again and see what I will have to pay on my part. But the left ones now need to go. 

I can still get my teeth straightened, and my part isn't as bad as I thought, but it's still another medical bill. I just can't believe what all I now have to go through to get to that part. I feel like I just got my heart ripped out of my chest. I still have the nearly 2 grand doctor's bill to straighten out from when I was sick two months ago. I don't know where I'm going to get all of this money. All of a sudden, I can see everything being snatched out of my hands; the car, the apartment, and everything to come with it. Just another thing to put this off. And why should it be that easy? Why can't I just live a normal 30-year old life like everyone else? What did I do to deserve all these bad things to happen to me? I've never had a normal life like everyone else. I'm almost 30, I still live at home, I have no husband/kids/family. Not saying that's a bad thing, I just don't know why when everyone else is off being happy, I am stuck behind worrying about this stupid stuff that I wish I could just end. And I would...if I wasn't so afraid of going to Hell. I was stupid to think that everything would change and I'd finally get everything I'd ever wanted. This isn't fair. This isn't fair to me. Yes, I'm thankful for things....*material* things. Things I don't really care about anymore. They're just things. What I *really* want, I may never get. I still have my friends and family, which means more to me than any material thing in this world. And who knows, maybe I'm jumping the gun just a little, and maybe this can all be figured out. I'm not ready for the pain and suffering I now have to go through. I just don't know how I'm going to get through it. I'd much rather go back to the hell I went through when I unloaded trucks. And that's saying something. At least...at least *that* wouldn't cost me out the ass, and *that* wouldn't be nearly as physically painful. 

I am off to go contemplate my next move...if you are reading this and I know you personally, I need your support now more than ever. It's the only thing that will get me through this. 

Rain in the distance....

Music: thunder outside
9:25p

I am watching a story on Fox news about college students/grads working for minimum wage, and all the statistics to go along with it (suicide rate, divorce rate, etc). Basically, you don't really have any guarantees you will find something in your field once you graduate college, you end up moving back in with mom and dad, and....

Hmm...this is probably why I haven't gone back to college. Not only do I just hate school, but school was never really for me. I never found a reason for it, even back in grade school. I never studied, never did my homework, I just didn't care. Even when I was grounded and had things taken away from me, nothing changed. My parents didn't really engage me in my education, I guess figuring punishment would change my attitude. But anyway....I managed to graduate by the hair of my chin, tried the college thing, and just wasn't feeling it. I say, if you go to college, get your degree and have some luck with getting to where you want to be, then more power to you.

I am exhausted. After a wild weekend of running rampant on a machine struggling with production, to getting an unexpected visit from my sister on Saturday night, I came home Sunday night, barely able to move, and no longer capable of coherent thought or sentences. I'm no better off right now than I was on Sunday night. I haven't done anything in the past two days, except for rest. I am tired, sore, and really screwing up my diet and exercise. I'm just not feeling it this week. And I only have two days left....UGH. I was supposed to meet a friend this week, but plans just didn't work out, plus weather just wasn't on our side. I'm in weather-mode as I write this, and will probably be up half the night keeping an eye on things. These types of events are always learning experiences for me, but I'm just so tired. 

On Sunday, while everyone else had the luck of going home super early, WE had the *un*-fortunate luck of having to stay until 5:30...right when a huge storm blew in...literally. Our lights flickered, and I haven't heard thunder like that in a long time. Each time I passed by the front doors, it was black outside. The rain finally came, and my God...in the year since I've been at the warehouse, I've NEVER heard rain like that. I clocked out and took one look outside; you couldn't see your hand in front of your face because it was raining so hard. The front office and break rooms were full of people from my area (the only area left in the fucking building) who were waiting it out. Some idiots were actually stupid enough to run out in it and drive home!! So I settled by the window in the break room and managed enough of a signal on my phone to pull up a radar to see how long I'd be stuck. 

The biggest storm of the year...and I missed it! (sort of). The rain managed to let up enough for me to make a run to the car, and when I started her up, the rain stopped. :S I managed to make it home through the rain and idiots. If you managed to make it home before the storm hit, I am insanely jealous, and you're extremely lucky.

Now I've got thunder shaking the house, making it hard to concentrate. I'm too excited. I love storms. Just wish we'd get them more often here in Southeast Texas. Fuck you, Baytown! You're the reason my fence looks like shiznit! Grrrrr

I'm off to go see what I can accomplish tonight...if I get struck by lightning, ship my body to Hawaii, so at least I can say I've been. That is all.  



By the way, if you know the meaning of that phrase in the title box...I'll buy you dinner. True story.