Music: Tiff Lacey- "Try Again" Original Mix
10:30p
So coming off last night's post (I stayed up til 5am typing), I had a short time to think. In life, you have to take those risks, otherwise you end up regretting not ever taking the chance. Am I right?
I'm not sure where the hell this week went. I've gotten very little sleep this week. Yesterday morning, I went to bed around 3, only to be woken up by my phone ringing two hours later. It was John. He felt bad for waking me up, but I hadn't heard from him, and I knew that sleep was out the window anyway. He was coming back from Oklahoma. He told me I was the only person he wanted to talk to. Of course, then I really didn't mind being woken up....But was very glad to hear from him, even if it was the butt-crack of dawn.
Yesterday I found out just how bad your friends can make you feel (their comments did not sit well with me). Then when it came down to re-hashing the details of just how miserable life can be sometimes, you get interrupted with something just plain stupid. I snapped this evening, and posted a profile pic of myself on Facebook with a pretty good rant to go with it. I will tell you, I don't take very many pics of myself. Why? Because right now I am uncomfortable in my own skin. I'm bone-thin, and until I get my teeth straightened, I just do not like being anywhere near anything that has the capability of taking your picture. So I told myself tonight, fuck what everyone else thinks. You know what? I took this picture on Instagram a few weeks ago, I'm going to make this my profile picture. I really liked the pic. So if any of you are on my Facebook, go give it a look. I guaran-fucking-tee you that if you find something wrong with it, then something is wrong with YOU. People are so quick to look at the 'pretty-faced' people, but what about the 'me-people'? What's wrong with us? What? I don't have big boobs or a pretty smile, so that's wrong? People are stupid stupid STUPID! Priorities are fucking backwards, and so help me I'd love to give someone a fucking wake-up call. Oh, and believe me I could make you feel just as bad. Beauty is on the INSIDE, but people don't look at that anymore! If you think this way, you are no better than the other scum in this world. I had someone tell me last week that they think I am beautiful no matter what. That made me feel good. I'm sorry to anyone else who has to find flaws in me on the outside, INSTEAD of what's on the INSIDE, or even concentrating on the very long friendship we have. Come at me. Just come at me. I'm TIRED of people finding every tiny flaw they can think of!
I'm stepping off the soap box.
I didn't get anymore sleep last night, either. By the time I got home, typed my last post and went to bed, I had maybe 4 hours under my belt. So after running up to the mall and back, I came home and gave the computer a rest, and popped in a DVD. Before I knew it, I woke up and it was nearly 6:30. Ugh, my schedule is so messed up, and my body is exhausted. So I'm taking my last night off tonight to rest, and get a good 8 hours sleep (even turning off my phone in case John calls-not being rude, but I need to rest). I have another busy weekend ahead of me at work, and I need to be ready.
Until then, I'm not about to waste my last night off being pissed off or upset. I'm actually laughing at the ones who think they can bring people like me down. Ha, nice try...
Now "Try Again."
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Inside the ashes burns an endless fire.
4:03am
He could have sworn he saw her flatline right before his eyes. Panic swept through him as for a split second he thought the worse, but then looked at the monitor again. They didn't have much tiime; Katelyn's was quickly running out. They had to find a way to stop this. Robbie rushed back over to her side where she lay on the table, her body still jerking uncontrollably. He took her hand in his.
"Don't you dare die on me, Katelyn." Robbie fought to keep the emotion out of his voice. "We're going to find a cure for this. Keep fighting!"
All Katelyn could do was look up at him, but Robbie wasn't sure she was even really seeing anymore. Katelyn was in nothing short of pure hell. She wasn't sure if she was alive or dead, and if it was up to her, she'd vote for the latter. No longer could Katelyn feel the sting of the initial attack; instead all she could feel were the flames that were now licking at her from all sides it seemed like. She could feel her body convulsing violently, but she no longer felt connected to her own body. The only thing she could register was pain, and the pain was so intense, her mind could not wrap itself around it. Why were they not putting out the flames? Katelyn wanted to scream, and she didn't care if it put Robbie in pain, but she couldn't find her voice box. That had probably been charred, too. Her entire body felt like a huge pile of ashes, and she did not know why she wasn't dead yet. There was nothing else she wanted but for it to end, one way or another.
Robbie rushed back up to the computer where Alpha stood. "She's dying. There has to be something we can do!"
Alpha turned, holding a paper in his hands. "I found the cause of her condition. And possibly a way to stop it."
"What is it?" Robbie took the paper, but was unable to decipher it.
"It's a parasite. It attacks the heart first, then eventually shutting down all other organs. The best way to describe it is it feels like one is literally burning alive." Robbie looked back over at Katelyn. They had to get it out, and fast.
He turned to Alpha, determined look in his eyes. There was no question, not even a doubt. And time was up. "Do it."
Alpha went to get the necessary tools, and Robbie again took Katelyn's hand. This time, he couldn't hold back the tears. "You listen to me. You do whatever you can to keep your heart beating. Alpha's gonna.."-he had to choke back a sob-"..he's gonna fix it."
Alpha began with trying to extract the parasite. As soon as the needle punctured Katelyn's skin, she let out an agonizing scream. Robbie held her hand, muttering over and over for her to keep fighting. He was almost rocking back and forth.
Please don't die, don't die, don't die...
Let me die, let me die, let me die...
It felt like years had passed before Alpha finally pulled away, and the look on Robbie's face was a mixture of shock, disgust, and pain all rolled into one as he took in the sight before him. That nasty pest that was the cause of all of this.
"Get that thing out of here," Robbie ordered, a sob in his otherwise low, dead voice.
Katelyn seemed to visibly calm down almost immediately, but it wasn't over yet. "Alpha, the morphine."
One minute, Katelyn felt like a pile of ash. The next, she felt something wash over her entire body, and she could not comprehend it. It felt pure, it felt amazing, like a wave of cold water, pushing the flames away. So this is what death feels like, she thought. But then, her vision seemed to clear, just long enough for her to see Robbie's face. He was smiling down at her, and ugh, wipe that stupid grin off your face. She didn't understand why he was looking at her like that. Her mind now was foggy, the pain of the fire nothing more than a dim memory now. She felt heavy, and Robbie's face faded away as Katelyn closed her eyes and welcomed the peace and quiet of unconsciousness.
"Sleep,sweetheart. You'll be alright now."
The topic of my time unloading trucks came up this evening. It wasn't the easiest time for me, and I'm still not sure how I survived. I don't choose to remember that time, as I've purposely forgotten about it. Did I learn from my mistakes? Yes. That time is a part of my life, and although it's in the past, that doesn't mean I have to take those memories, nor do I want to. The pain and the toll that job took on me was getting to be too much, and there's no way I would have been able to hang on much longer. When I slept, this scene came to me. It's a scene I'd had tucked away for a very long time, it's not fine-tuned, and definitely not going to be the final draft, but it's how it played out in my head tonight. It reminded me of my situation then; the pain and the near agony of defeat. When it was all said and done and I managed to crawl up out of the hole I'd been in, I felt I could breathe again. The weight I wasn't even aware I'd been carrying had been lifted off my shoulders. I never stopped fighting; I knew what I wanted. Katelyn is a character I created so very long ago, and I've always looked up to her.
Aside from that, I keep fighting. I worked hard to be where I am, and I still thank God for what he has given me. When I lose touch and forget, I always get a reality check. I'm still grateful to be where I am. A year ago everything seemed unsure. Now I am getting that second chance. 9 months now, and I'm still going strong.
And there's no sign of me slowing down.
He could have sworn he saw her flatline right before his eyes. Panic swept through him as for a split second he thought the worse, but then looked at the monitor again. They didn't have much tiime; Katelyn's was quickly running out. They had to find a way to stop this. Robbie rushed back over to her side where she lay on the table, her body still jerking uncontrollably. He took her hand in his.
"Don't you dare die on me, Katelyn." Robbie fought to keep the emotion out of his voice. "We're going to find a cure for this. Keep fighting!"
All Katelyn could do was look up at him, but Robbie wasn't sure she was even really seeing anymore. Katelyn was in nothing short of pure hell. She wasn't sure if she was alive or dead, and if it was up to her, she'd vote for the latter. No longer could Katelyn feel the sting of the initial attack; instead all she could feel were the flames that were now licking at her from all sides it seemed like. She could feel her body convulsing violently, but she no longer felt connected to her own body. The only thing she could register was pain, and the pain was so intense, her mind could not wrap itself around it. Why were they not putting out the flames? Katelyn wanted to scream, and she didn't care if it put Robbie in pain, but she couldn't find her voice box. That had probably been charred, too. Her entire body felt like a huge pile of ashes, and she did not know why she wasn't dead yet. There was nothing else she wanted but for it to end, one way or another.
Robbie rushed back up to the computer where Alpha stood. "She's dying. There has to be something we can do!"
Alpha turned, holding a paper in his hands. "I found the cause of her condition. And possibly a way to stop it."
"What is it?" Robbie took the paper, but was unable to decipher it.
"It's a parasite. It attacks the heart first, then eventually shutting down all other organs. The best way to describe it is it feels like one is literally burning alive." Robbie looked back over at Katelyn. They had to get it out, and fast.
He turned to Alpha, determined look in his eyes. There was no question, not even a doubt. And time was up. "Do it."
Alpha went to get the necessary tools, and Robbie again took Katelyn's hand. This time, he couldn't hold back the tears. "You listen to me. You do whatever you can to keep your heart beating. Alpha's gonna.."-he had to choke back a sob-"..he's gonna fix it."
Alpha began with trying to extract the parasite. As soon as the needle punctured Katelyn's skin, she let out an agonizing scream. Robbie held her hand, muttering over and over for her to keep fighting. He was almost rocking back and forth.
Please don't die, don't die, don't die...
Let me die, let me die, let me die...
It felt like years had passed before Alpha finally pulled away, and the look on Robbie's face was a mixture of shock, disgust, and pain all rolled into one as he took in the sight before him. That nasty pest that was the cause of all of this.
"Get that thing out of here," Robbie ordered, a sob in his otherwise low, dead voice.
Katelyn seemed to visibly calm down almost immediately, but it wasn't over yet. "Alpha, the morphine."
One minute, Katelyn felt like a pile of ash. The next, she felt something wash over her entire body, and she could not comprehend it. It felt pure, it felt amazing, like a wave of cold water, pushing the flames away. So this is what death feels like, she thought. But then, her vision seemed to clear, just long enough for her to see Robbie's face. He was smiling down at her, and ugh, wipe that stupid grin off your face. She didn't understand why he was looking at her like that. Her mind now was foggy, the pain of the fire nothing more than a dim memory now. She felt heavy, and Robbie's face faded away as Katelyn closed her eyes and welcomed the peace and quiet of unconsciousness.
"Sleep,sweetheart. You'll be alright now."
The topic of my time unloading trucks came up this evening. It wasn't the easiest time for me, and I'm still not sure how I survived. I don't choose to remember that time, as I've purposely forgotten about it. Did I learn from my mistakes? Yes. That time is a part of my life, and although it's in the past, that doesn't mean I have to take those memories, nor do I want to. The pain and the toll that job took on me was getting to be too much, and there's no way I would have been able to hang on much longer. When I slept, this scene came to me. It's a scene I'd had tucked away for a very long time, it's not fine-tuned, and definitely not going to be the final draft, but it's how it played out in my head tonight. It reminded me of my situation then; the pain and the near agony of defeat. When it was all said and done and I managed to crawl up out of the hole I'd been in, I felt I could breathe again. The weight I wasn't even aware I'd been carrying had been lifted off my shoulders. I never stopped fighting; I knew what I wanted. Katelyn is a character I created so very long ago, and I've always looked up to her.
Aside from that, I keep fighting. I worked hard to be where I am, and I still thank God for what he has given me. When I lose touch and forget, I always get a reality check. I'm still grateful to be where I am. A year ago everything seemed unsure. Now I am getting that second chance. 9 months now, and I'm still going strong.
And there's no sign of me slowing down.
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
There are no words for this.
Music: CNN
10:35p
I thought when I came home Sunday afternoon, the Shawnee storm in Oklahoma had been bad. That we'd seen the worst of it...okay, storm season is well underway (albeit a bit late). They had again predicted bad weather for the area the next day. I thought what I'd seen was going to be the worst, and things would get quiet again.
I was dead wrong.
Monday, after deciding to do absolutely nothing all day (to let my body catch up from such a hectic weekend), things on the weather end had been quiet. I wasn't paying much attention to the chasers or the streams online. It was only after my dad had asked me if I knew what the chasers were up to, did I jump on my iPod. My Facebook page was blowing up with reports of a tornado moving through Moore, OK. I immediately changed the TV to the Weather Channel, and I was greeted by an image I never wanted to see again:
I had a blinding sense of deja-vu.
I watched as the monster tornado crossed through the city, annihilating everything in its path. But I had no idea just what the aftermath would be. Minutes after it passed, I saw pictures of what the twister had left behind.
There was nothing left.
Schools had been hit, and it was a mad dash to try to rescue kids and teachers trapped in the rubble. My heart hurt; I thought of my nephews and how it could be them trapped in there. The reports started coming in of people losing their lives. There were cars tossed around like toys and twisted into something unrecognizable. Buildings were flattened or wiped completely off their foundations. Immediately they were calling the storm an EF4, but from what I saw, it looked more like EF5 damage, the highest rating you can give a tornado.
My mouth dropped as I watched the images on the screen. How could this be happening again? Moore had been hit before; May 3rd, 1999. I still remember my mom coming to wake me up to let me know what had happened, and I stayed up all night watching the coverage. That was unlike anything I'd ever seen, and hoped no one would ever see it again. 15 years almost, and those poor people are being hit again. I can't imagine.
I watched the coverage well into the night. I was sad, and hurting for those kids and those people who now had to rebuild once again. When I woke up this morning, daylight revealed so much. Stories of people and heroes and survival. But what made me really break down this morning was a story of an elderly woman. She grabbed her dog and they rode out the storm in the bathroom. She was alright, but she had lost her dog. Her house was completely demolished. As she was being interviewed by the media, someone noticed something moving in the debris; it was her dog. He crawled out of the rubble, shaken up and dirty, but alive. I had a flashback to the day when it was my family looking for our dog the day the Channelview tornado hit. That hit way too close to home for me. There are just no words for this devastation. So many more people could have lost their lives, but warnings have come so far since that terrible day in '99, and thanks to social media, it's easier to reach people and give them time to get to safety. I am hurting so much tonight for those people in Oklahoma. I am praying for their recovery and I know they will once again rebuild, and hopefully won't have to worry about another tornado in our lifetime. Lightning doesn't usually strike the same place twice, but there's sadly an exception to that rule, I guess. So please, whether you know someone up there or not, please pray for them, help where you can. I plan on doing something to help. The recovery will take months, if not longer. Years....
I am also worried about my friend John. He went up there to check on loved ones, and I have not heard from him. I hope he is alright and safe, and I really hope he comes home soon so I can throw my arms around him and give him a big hug. I am really worried about him....
This is indeed a sad day, but life does go on, and I hope we don't see another monster like this for a very long time. If you've seen the images, then you know what is going on, but TV does not do it justice, until you actually witness it or experience it.
I am going to go find something to do to take my mind off of things for a minute. I feel overloaded, and need a sense of normalcy. I talked to my friends J.R. and Jessica tonight..just to be able to make our usual jokes and conversation made me feel better and it was like God heard me. I needed that more than I realized, and remembered my promise from my last blog, but they actually found me first!
I'm off to bed and find something to watch to take my mind off of these horrible images. Please pray for Moore and Shawnee, OK. Help if and where you can. Goodnight.
10:35p
I thought when I came home Sunday afternoon, the Shawnee storm in Oklahoma had been bad. That we'd seen the worst of it...okay, storm season is well underway (albeit a bit late). They had again predicted bad weather for the area the next day. I thought what I'd seen was going to be the worst, and things would get quiet again.
I was dead wrong.
Monday, after deciding to do absolutely nothing all day (to let my body catch up from such a hectic weekend), things on the weather end had been quiet. I wasn't paying much attention to the chasers or the streams online. It was only after my dad had asked me if I knew what the chasers were up to, did I jump on my iPod. My Facebook page was blowing up with reports of a tornado moving through Moore, OK. I immediately changed the TV to the Weather Channel, and I was greeted by an image I never wanted to see again:
I had a blinding sense of deja-vu.
I watched as the monster tornado crossed through the city, annihilating everything in its path. But I had no idea just what the aftermath would be. Minutes after it passed, I saw pictures of what the twister had left behind.
There was nothing left.
Schools had been hit, and it was a mad dash to try to rescue kids and teachers trapped in the rubble. My heart hurt; I thought of my nephews and how it could be them trapped in there. The reports started coming in of people losing their lives. There were cars tossed around like toys and twisted into something unrecognizable. Buildings were flattened or wiped completely off their foundations. Immediately they were calling the storm an EF4, but from what I saw, it looked more like EF5 damage, the highest rating you can give a tornado.
My mouth dropped as I watched the images on the screen. How could this be happening again? Moore had been hit before; May 3rd, 1999. I still remember my mom coming to wake me up to let me know what had happened, and I stayed up all night watching the coverage. That was unlike anything I'd ever seen, and hoped no one would ever see it again. 15 years almost, and those poor people are being hit again. I can't imagine.
I watched the coverage well into the night. I was sad, and hurting for those kids and those people who now had to rebuild once again. When I woke up this morning, daylight revealed so much. Stories of people and heroes and survival. But what made me really break down this morning was a story of an elderly woman. She grabbed her dog and they rode out the storm in the bathroom. She was alright, but she had lost her dog. Her house was completely demolished. As she was being interviewed by the media, someone noticed something moving in the debris; it was her dog. He crawled out of the rubble, shaken up and dirty, but alive. I had a flashback to the day when it was my family looking for our dog the day the Channelview tornado hit. That hit way too close to home for me. There are just no words for this devastation. So many more people could have lost their lives, but warnings have come so far since that terrible day in '99, and thanks to social media, it's easier to reach people and give them time to get to safety. I am hurting so much tonight for those people in Oklahoma. I am praying for their recovery and I know they will once again rebuild, and hopefully won't have to worry about another tornado in our lifetime. Lightning doesn't usually strike the same place twice, but there's sadly an exception to that rule, I guess. So please, whether you know someone up there or not, please pray for them, help where you can. I plan on doing something to help. The recovery will take months, if not longer. Years....
I am also worried about my friend John. He went up there to check on loved ones, and I have not heard from him. I hope he is alright and safe, and I really hope he comes home soon so I can throw my arms around him and give him a big hug. I am really worried about him....
This is indeed a sad day, but life does go on, and I hope we don't see another monster like this for a very long time. If you've seen the images, then you know what is going on, but TV does not do it justice, until you actually witness it or experience it.
I am going to go find something to do to take my mind off of things for a minute. I feel overloaded, and need a sense of normalcy. I talked to my friends J.R. and Jessica tonight..just to be able to make our usual jokes and conversation made me feel better and it was like God heard me. I needed that more than I realized, and remembered my promise from my last blog, but they actually found me first!
I'm off to bed and find something to watch to take my mind off of these horrible images. Please pray for Moore and Shawnee, OK. Help if and where you can. Goodnight.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Feeling reflective..
10:10p
I'm not sure why Linkin Park's "My December" popped into my head. But here I sit at my computer, listening to the song, and remembering everything with it. The first time I heard it 10 years ago, and the fucker that introduced it to me. He's the reason I became so interested in trance music. I still have the CD he made for me, and I'll go back and listen to it sometimes. Some of those songs are super old, but I forgot how much I loved to listen to them.
I came home today, after falling ill at work. Today did not go as planned (but does any day?), but could have been worse. I am going to have to get used to working in the heat again, and start eating better if I am going to make it through the next few months. I think exhaustion had a huge part to play in how I felt today. When your body starts trembling all over and you feel like you're going to hurl, might be a good idea to step off your machine and take a step back (unless you're me, and you try to push it, and decide that passing out in the isles is better than not making production). Beforehand, I felt like I was going to drop from sheer exhaustion, even though I'd been sleeping the past few nights. That's what working three 14+ hour days will do to you. I ran by the office and Hamilton drove me up front to the break room. He grabbed his lunch bag and gave me an apple to eat, and some cold water. After about 30 minutes, I felt more normal (for me), and he released me to go home. He even went and grabbed all my stuff and brought it to me. Thank God I'd more or less hit my numbers today. I was plotting revenge for the Flow team (yes, I was going to do it again...see last post), but oh well. I drove home, starving to death and longing for my bed.
When I came home, I came home to my Facebook blowing up with tornado reports. My heart is heavy tonight for those in OK/KS who were hit by the tornadoes. There were few pictures, as it was getting dark, but daylight will reveal so much more. Images I am all too familiar with. NOAA predicted it, and they were right on the money. I'm waiting on my Youtube page to start blowing up with all the videos. I ask myself, "do I really want to go back to school for this?" I am still unsure.
Maybe that's where the song came from. It's comforting, soothing in a way. Right now I'm recovering from three days of tearing up a warehouse. I'm tired, sore, and coming home to a good meal really helped. I'm too tired for a shower; I'll probably end up passing out before I can get that far.
Since I won't be working during the week (yeah, now that I have nothing to do! UGH), I plan on taking it easy and tying up some loose ends. I have some great ideas for the story I've been working on..amazing how much time you have to think while running around on a machine all weekend. Since my aunt came into town, I haven't had time for friends, but now that she is back home, I find that I really haven't talked to any of my friends lately. So that will be changing this week!
Until then, tonight is my favorite night, because I am FREE. I'm going to go find my bed. Goodnight.
I'm not sure why Linkin Park's "My December" popped into my head. But here I sit at my computer, listening to the song, and remembering everything with it. The first time I heard it 10 years ago, and the fucker that introduced it to me. He's the reason I became so interested in trance music. I still have the CD he made for me, and I'll go back and listen to it sometimes. Some of those songs are super old, but I forgot how much I loved to listen to them.
I came home today, after falling ill at work. Today did not go as planned (but does any day?), but could have been worse. I am going to have to get used to working in the heat again, and start eating better if I am going to make it through the next few months. I think exhaustion had a huge part to play in how I felt today. When your body starts trembling all over and you feel like you're going to hurl, might be a good idea to step off your machine and take a step back (unless you're me, and you try to push it, and decide that passing out in the isles is better than not making production). Beforehand, I felt like I was going to drop from sheer exhaustion, even though I'd been sleeping the past few nights. That's what working three 14+ hour days will do to you. I ran by the office and Hamilton drove me up front to the break room. He grabbed his lunch bag and gave me an apple to eat, and some cold water. After about 30 minutes, I felt more normal (for me), and he released me to go home. He even went and grabbed all my stuff and brought it to me. Thank God I'd more or less hit my numbers today. I was plotting revenge for the Flow team (yes, I was going to do it again...see last post), but oh well. I drove home, starving to death and longing for my bed.
When I came home, I came home to my Facebook blowing up with tornado reports. My heart is heavy tonight for those in OK/KS who were hit by the tornadoes. There were few pictures, as it was getting dark, but daylight will reveal so much more. Images I am all too familiar with. NOAA predicted it, and they were right on the money. I'm waiting on my Youtube page to start blowing up with all the videos. I ask myself, "do I really want to go back to school for this?" I am still unsure.
Maybe that's where the song came from. It's comforting, soothing in a way. Right now I'm recovering from three days of tearing up a warehouse. I'm tired, sore, and coming home to a good meal really helped. I'm too tired for a shower; I'll probably end up passing out before I can get that far.
Since I won't be working during the week (yeah, now that I have nothing to do! UGH), I plan on taking it easy and tying up some loose ends. I have some great ideas for the story I've been working on..amazing how much time you have to think while running around on a machine all weekend. Since my aunt came into town, I haven't had time for friends, but now that she is back home, I find that I really haven't talked to any of my friends lately. So that will be changing this week!
Until then, tonight is my favorite night, because I am FREE. I'm going to go find my bed. Goodnight.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
I feel like I just crossed through the Nemesis Triangle.
Music: Blog Talk Radio with Karan Ashley
8p
What a week this has been. It was active, busy and very exhausting. There are not enough hours in the day to catch up on sleep when you are tired. Is four days off enough time to do such a thing? When you're constantly going, going, going....no. I finally get caught up today, after all the excitement had died down...and it's time to go back to work. Grr.
Monday after posting my last blog, I headed down to Webster and met up with my co-workers. I wasn't planning on going down there alone, but Jessica was not able to make it until later on, and I wanted to go eat. So I met the co-workers at Cheddar's and we ate and talked. Afterwards, we walked over to the Main Event. We decided to bowl first, and even though I suck at bowling, I like it. We ended up bowling two games, and Jessica and Eric joined up with us and met everyone, and bowled the second game with us. Kris decided to play laser tag, and begged everyone to play. That was the first time I'd ever actually played, and even though I run pretty fast, I got hit a few times, but I managed to get in a few of my own! It was fun. Kris then later volunteered to play me in air hockey. Yes, pride be damned, I actually got beat by someone! More like Kris wiped the floor with me! He was FAST. And I thought I was good! We ended up playing again, and he buried me. We had fun. The group later decided to go to a bar close by, and I headed home, as I had to be up early the next morning, and I couldn't drink as I didn't have a DD. I think they were kinda bummed, but I had a blast hanging out with them. I felt like part of the group.
I had no idea how to get back to Clear Lake, as I wasn't too familiar with the route going back (I took 146 to Nasa Prkwy coming in), and I definitely didn't want to get lost. I45 was right behind me, and it was a quarter to 11, so I ended up taking 45 to 610 and up to 90. That was the first time I'd ever driven that route, I don't think I did that even when I was learning to drive. Traffic was very light, and again, I wasn't nervous at all. It was a route I was more familiar with. I got home and passed out.
Tuesday my family and I headed out to the Hill Country. We made a few stops along the way, including a stop to a place with old cars and trucks (I haven't had time to post the pics). It is so beautiful out there, with the awesome views. I told my parents and aunt about my fun night the night before, and we talked and looked at the sights. We stopped in La Grange and looked at some places, and then headed out to Bastrop to go eat. I haven't been to Bastrop, and that was the first time I saw first hand the damage from the fires a couple years ago. The burned trees stretched out for miles, as far as you could see. It was amazing. We stopped in and ate at Chili's, then stopped at Buc-ees (a Texas staple, google it), and headed home. John called me right when we hit the road back, informing me that his job in LA got cancelled and he was now headed home. He was disappointed. I okay'd it with everyone if he could stop by on his way back to Spring. He was still a few hours away, which gave us time to get home and rest a bit. John stopped in and met my aunt, and we sat around and talked. My aunt even got a picture of the two of us. John had been driving all day and was super tired, so he didn't stay long. After seeing him off, I came back inside and my aunt gave me her approval of him. Sweet! I passed out in bed not too long after that. After coming home on Sunday and finding my bed rearranged, I was too tired to change it back (thanks to my sister; I am plotting revenge as we speak), so I proceeded to sleep like that the next three nights, and was quite comfortable! I grudgingly had to change my bed back today.
Wednesday we took my aunt to the airport. I was sad to see her leave, but I know she'll be back next year. John and I decided that we were both too exhausted to do anything that evening. I ate dinner and was asleep by 9:30. When I woke up, it was 2:30 a.m. I checked facebook and turned on TranceFM and passed out again.
Today I found my cell phone turned off. I went over on my minutes and texts, and my bill is due Saturday. So no phone for me. No facebook at work. UGGHHH! Now I have to wait til Saturday, and now John is laughing at me. I'm getting back into work mode, and hoping that now that things are back to normal, I can work some overtime next week. And yes, hoping that my 122 will be sitting nice and pretty when I walk in tomorrow morning. I'm ready to conquer another weekend. And get my phone turned back on! Yeah!
Goodnight.
8p
What a week this has been. It was active, busy and very exhausting. There are not enough hours in the day to catch up on sleep when you are tired. Is four days off enough time to do such a thing? When you're constantly going, going, going....no. I finally get caught up today, after all the excitement had died down...and it's time to go back to work. Grr.
Monday after posting my last blog, I headed down to Webster and met up with my co-workers. I wasn't planning on going down there alone, but Jessica was not able to make it until later on, and I wanted to go eat. So I met the co-workers at Cheddar's and we ate and talked. Afterwards, we walked over to the Main Event. We decided to bowl first, and even though I suck at bowling, I like it. We ended up bowling two games, and Jessica and Eric joined up with us and met everyone, and bowled the second game with us. Kris decided to play laser tag, and begged everyone to play. That was the first time I'd ever actually played, and even though I run pretty fast, I got hit a few times, but I managed to get in a few of my own! It was fun. Kris then later volunteered to play me in air hockey. Yes, pride be damned, I actually got beat by someone! More like Kris wiped the floor with me! He was FAST. And I thought I was good! We ended up playing again, and he buried me. We had fun. The group later decided to go to a bar close by, and I headed home, as I had to be up early the next morning, and I couldn't drink as I didn't have a DD. I think they were kinda bummed, but I had a blast hanging out with them. I felt like part of the group.
I had no idea how to get back to Clear Lake, as I wasn't too familiar with the route going back (I took 146 to Nasa Prkwy coming in), and I definitely didn't want to get lost. I45 was right behind me, and it was a quarter to 11, so I ended up taking 45 to 610 and up to 90. That was the first time I'd ever driven that route, I don't think I did that even when I was learning to drive. Traffic was very light, and again, I wasn't nervous at all. It was a route I was more familiar with. I got home and passed out.
Tuesday my family and I headed out to the Hill Country. We made a few stops along the way, including a stop to a place with old cars and trucks (I haven't had time to post the pics). It is so beautiful out there, with the awesome views. I told my parents and aunt about my fun night the night before, and we talked and looked at the sights. We stopped in La Grange and looked at some places, and then headed out to Bastrop to go eat. I haven't been to Bastrop, and that was the first time I saw first hand the damage from the fires a couple years ago. The burned trees stretched out for miles, as far as you could see. It was amazing. We stopped in and ate at Chili's, then stopped at Buc-ees (a Texas staple, google it), and headed home. John called me right when we hit the road back, informing me that his job in LA got cancelled and he was now headed home. He was disappointed. I okay'd it with everyone if he could stop by on his way back to Spring. He was still a few hours away, which gave us time to get home and rest a bit. John stopped in and met my aunt, and we sat around and talked. My aunt even got a picture of the two of us. John had been driving all day and was super tired, so he didn't stay long. After seeing him off, I came back inside and my aunt gave me her approval of him. Sweet! I passed out in bed not too long after that. After coming home on Sunday and finding my bed rearranged, I was too tired to change it back (thanks to my sister; I am plotting revenge as we speak), so I proceeded to sleep like that the next three nights, and was quite comfortable! I grudgingly had to change my bed back today.
Wednesday we took my aunt to the airport. I was sad to see her leave, but I know she'll be back next year. John and I decided that we were both too exhausted to do anything that evening. I ate dinner and was asleep by 9:30. When I woke up, it was 2:30 a.m. I checked facebook and turned on TranceFM and passed out again.
Today I found my cell phone turned off. I went over on my minutes and texts, and my bill is due Saturday. So no phone for me. No facebook at work. UGGHHH! Now I have to wait til Saturday, and now John is laughing at me. I'm getting back into work mode, and hoping that now that things are back to normal, I can work some overtime next week. And yes, hoping that my 122 will be sitting nice and pretty when I walk in tomorrow morning. I'm ready to conquer another weekend. And get my phone turned back on! Yeah!
Goodnight.
Monday, May 13, 2013
"Watcha gonna do when it all fails?"
Music: "Everything"-Maya (title of this blog taken from those lyrics)
12:45p
You get revenge, that's what you do.
My question for this weekend: Who do I have to kill to get what I want? Apparently, this weekend was 'kill-or-be-killed'.
I will say this again; I still need my own TV show.
I've told the story about how good of a machine I have at work. Last weekend, after somehow breaking the forks ( I nearly tipped over when going to lift a pallet), I took it to maintenance, and never saw it again. I was hoping it would be there when I came back this past Friday. Somehow, those grease balls over in shipping had gotten a hold of it. Okay, fine, I'll use one of these crappy machines until I can get it back. Maybe I'll get lucky.
The day itself was pretty busy, but production was great. I came back on Saturday morning, on a mission. Maybe if I find my machine, it will be a good day! I combed the entire shipping side, with no luck, but hey, at least I got my exercise. I made the long walk back to my dock, only to find someone had already taken the best machine (well, the best out of *that* bunch). Damn! If only I could lock those machines out when I get there, but from what I understand, you have to be clocked in first, and that's a risk I will not take.
Okay, so I had no luck, but yep, it's Saturday, still going to be a good d-..and what the fuck is Shante doing over here?? Everyone of us in our area looked at each other, and I could literally feel the morale dropping. More like jumping out of the window and committing suicide. She hasn't changed...her whole I-do-not-care-about-anyone attitude. Oh, crap. My day is going to hell already! I was more than happy to get away from her. The machine I'd picked up started giving me hell right off the bat; when I hit speed-mode, the machine would immediately back off. Fuck. Here we go again. Took it to maintenance and got the okay to go ahead and switch batteries (it wasn't fully dead yet). That solved the problem, and off I went, but I was 45 minutes down on production. It is possible to catch up, and that's exactly what I did. I hit my numbers easily. Cruising down D dock, I passed a shipping hauler (the one who drives very dangerously), and lo and behold, she was riding on my 122. Insult to injury. The one I'd picked up had to be literally shaken awake just to take off. You're killing me!
And at some point, later in the morning, I saw Hamilton ride by, he just appeared out of nowhere.
I could have kissed the man.
Now go back to where you belong, Shante! Go ruin someone else's life!
It ended up being a good day despite the morning excitement. I came home, and my aunt was back after spending the week in Beaumont. Her sister had dropped her off, but couldn't stay, and by the time I got home she had left. I was disappointed, but glad to have my aunt back home.
Yesterday was something else. I swear you can't make this stuff up!
I headed in for my last day. Got the crappy I-don't-want-to-go machine again. Was given A and B once again, along with Griselda. She's actually really cool. She's still learning, and I was more than happy to help her out with directions, etc. I didn't mess with A dock all day; another hauler for our third party was pretty much killing it. So B dock became my home, but I ended up floating all around. I hit D dock, taking easy hauls here and there, and when I got caught up, taking long hauls.
I was taking something to A dock, and was heading up the main isle, between the stacks and stacks of tier racks. An isle ahead of me, a flow hauler was coming across, driving forks first (in reverse). I blew my horn at him, as he was coming across right in front of me. He didn't stop, and I tried at the last second to swerve out of the way. His forks collided into mine, and had I not been holding on to the handlebar in the back, I'd for sure have gotten thrown off. It was a pretty good hit. I immediately stopped the machine, as I'd had the wind knocked out of me. The guy drove around right away and started asking was I okay over and over, apologizing. I told him I was okay, but obviously shaken up. He said maybe he shouldn't do that anymore. Duh! That's an illegal move, and the hit was his fault.
After that, I ran over and got some more tier racks, going back to D dock. My mind was in this shocked I-can't-believe-that-just-happened mode. I've never had anyone hit me before! There's been some close calls. And I was just talking to an unloader earlier that morning about how some of the idiots drive in the building, and how I have to watch for everyone. So glad I was paying attention, but it could have been much worse.
I went to D dock, still shaken up. I dropped off the load, and pulled into an isle. I got off the machine and drank some water, trying to calm down. Thank God I was ahead for the hour on production. After a few minutes, I got going again, determined, but not about to let that incident ruin my day.
The rest of the day went smooth, save for my being exhausted after working so hard and everything that had happened up to this point. After my last break, I was given my list of freight to get rid of before going home. Griselda had gotten pulled over to C dock to help with the congestion, but B dock was getting just as bad, and every once in a while did I see other haulers come to pick stuff up, going back to their respective docks. So it was up to me to clear this dock. Around 5:30, I was on D dock when my battery died. So I took it over to maintenance. At this point, almost the entire building had left for the day, including all the other equipment operators. The receiving haulers were the only ones left running around. The guy that usually does batteries caught a total attitude with me when I came over, ordering me to go over to Shipping and get another PE. Um, it's 5:30, you still have equipment running around. His attitude was pretty much 'you're screwed, haha, i'm going home!'. Asshole.
So I drove over to orderfilling, and saw the PE's lined up. I saw 207 sitting there, one I'd used many times before. It had a full battery, and was very fast. I had already hit my daily numbers, but wasn't satisfied, and now I was 30 minutes behind. Its computer would not boot up, leaving me very frustrated, on top of dealing with the guy's attitude. This afternoon is going to hell! Another hauler saw me and asked what was wrong. He got upset and told me he would talk to Mario, agreeing with me that it wasn't right (and he later told me that he saw the battery changer leave 45 minutes after I had brought the PE by). Now what the hell he was doing for that amount of time he couldn't change a battery is beyond me.
Now here's the fun part. I was back on B dock, and I found some tier racks that were going over to the shipping side. I had a lightbulb moment. Everyone had left for the day, meaning that there were machines galore, and there would be a good chance that 122 would be among them. Very slowly I said to myself 'I'm gonna go check this out...' I picked up the tier racks, and went straight into the conventional isles (I rode a module). You're not really supposed to do that, and I haven't since the day I trained on the machine, making turns with stuff on your forks. I'm sure I got a few crazy looks from the other haulers. I figured since my load went this direction, anyway, might as well multi-task, right? B dock turned up nothing. I was nearly at the end of C dock, about ready to drop off the load, when I saw it. There, sitting in a module, hiding towards the back, was my 122. I ran over and checked the battery. 100%! I parked 207 and switched everything over. I took off, and I was home. I love the taste of redemption! Every bad or annoying thing that had happened this weekend, this totally made up for it. So yeah, have fun with that dead PE, shipping crew.
We didn't leave until 7, and I was so exhausted, but looking forward to going home and spending Mother's Day with my parents, aunt, sister and nephews. When I got in my car and called home, my sister told me she had to get the boys back home, and they had to leave. They'd already eaten and everything. They didn't wait for me. I couldn't help what time I got off, and I was so looking forward to it. I was angry. I didn't even get to see my relatives on Saturday night, and now I wasn't going to see my sister, either. I sat in my car at the warehouse a good 15 minutes, too upset to drive. The events of the day, plus exhaustion, plus now hearing this, and that did it. I had no desire of going home, anymore, but had nowhere else to go, plus I hated to hurt my mom's feelings by not going home.
About the time I pulled out of the lot, John texted me. I told him about what happened with my family. He told me he was heading back to Louisiana for work, tonight. After I got home and took a long bath, I gave my mom her gift, and called John. He decided to stop by on his way out of town. He isn't sure how long he'll be out there, but it was his last chance to see me, probably for a while. It was 1am, everyone had gone to bed, so John and I sat outside and talked. I love his stories; maybe he should get his own show, too. He couldn't stay long, as he had a long drive, and I'd been up nearly 24 hours. I could literally see my brain cells dying off. I was glad to see him, and we promised to hang out more when he comes back. That was a great end to such a weird weekend.
And now, I'm off to wreak havoc on the world. And catch up on sleep. Until next time...
12:45p
You get revenge, that's what you do.
My question for this weekend: Who do I have to kill to get what I want? Apparently, this weekend was 'kill-or-be-killed'.
I will say this again; I still need my own TV show.
I've told the story about how good of a machine I have at work. Last weekend, after somehow breaking the forks ( I nearly tipped over when going to lift a pallet), I took it to maintenance, and never saw it again. I was hoping it would be there when I came back this past Friday. Somehow, those grease balls over in shipping had gotten a hold of it. Okay, fine, I'll use one of these crappy machines until I can get it back. Maybe I'll get lucky.
The day itself was pretty busy, but production was great. I came back on Saturday morning, on a mission. Maybe if I find my machine, it will be a good day! I combed the entire shipping side, with no luck, but hey, at least I got my exercise. I made the long walk back to my dock, only to find someone had already taken the best machine (well, the best out of *that* bunch). Damn! If only I could lock those machines out when I get there, but from what I understand, you have to be clocked in first, and that's a risk I will not take.
Okay, so I had no luck, but yep, it's Saturday, still going to be a good d-..and what the fuck is Shante doing over here?? Everyone of us in our area looked at each other, and I could literally feel the morale dropping. More like jumping out of the window and committing suicide. She hasn't changed...her whole I-do-not-care-about-anyone attitude. Oh, crap. My day is going to hell already! I was more than happy to get away from her. The machine I'd picked up started giving me hell right off the bat; when I hit speed-mode, the machine would immediately back off. Fuck. Here we go again. Took it to maintenance and got the okay to go ahead and switch batteries (it wasn't fully dead yet). That solved the problem, and off I went, but I was 45 minutes down on production. It is possible to catch up, and that's exactly what I did. I hit my numbers easily. Cruising down D dock, I passed a shipping hauler (the one who drives very dangerously), and lo and behold, she was riding on my 122. Insult to injury. The one I'd picked up had to be literally shaken awake just to take off. You're killing me!
And at some point, later in the morning, I saw Hamilton ride by, he just appeared out of nowhere.
I could have kissed the man.
Now go back to where you belong, Shante! Go ruin someone else's life!
It ended up being a good day despite the morning excitement. I came home, and my aunt was back after spending the week in Beaumont. Her sister had dropped her off, but couldn't stay, and by the time I got home she had left. I was disappointed, but glad to have my aunt back home.
Yesterday was something else. I swear you can't make this stuff up!
I headed in for my last day. Got the crappy I-don't-want-to-go machine again. Was given A and B once again, along with Griselda. She's actually really cool. She's still learning, and I was more than happy to help her out with directions, etc. I didn't mess with A dock all day; another hauler for our third party was pretty much killing it. So B dock became my home, but I ended up floating all around. I hit D dock, taking easy hauls here and there, and when I got caught up, taking long hauls.
I was taking something to A dock, and was heading up the main isle, between the stacks and stacks of tier racks. An isle ahead of me, a flow hauler was coming across, driving forks first (in reverse). I blew my horn at him, as he was coming across right in front of me. He didn't stop, and I tried at the last second to swerve out of the way. His forks collided into mine, and had I not been holding on to the handlebar in the back, I'd for sure have gotten thrown off. It was a pretty good hit. I immediately stopped the machine, as I'd had the wind knocked out of me. The guy drove around right away and started asking was I okay over and over, apologizing. I told him I was okay, but obviously shaken up. He said maybe he shouldn't do that anymore. Duh! That's an illegal move, and the hit was his fault.
After that, I ran over and got some more tier racks, going back to D dock. My mind was in this shocked I-can't-believe-that-just-happened mode. I've never had anyone hit me before! There's been some close calls. And I was just talking to an unloader earlier that morning about how some of the idiots drive in the building, and how I have to watch for everyone. So glad I was paying attention, but it could have been much worse.
I went to D dock, still shaken up. I dropped off the load, and pulled into an isle. I got off the machine and drank some water, trying to calm down. Thank God I was ahead for the hour on production. After a few minutes, I got going again, determined, but not about to let that incident ruin my day.
The rest of the day went smooth, save for my being exhausted after working so hard and everything that had happened up to this point. After my last break, I was given my list of freight to get rid of before going home. Griselda had gotten pulled over to C dock to help with the congestion, but B dock was getting just as bad, and every once in a while did I see other haulers come to pick stuff up, going back to their respective docks. So it was up to me to clear this dock. Around 5:30, I was on D dock when my battery died. So I took it over to maintenance. At this point, almost the entire building had left for the day, including all the other equipment operators. The receiving haulers were the only ones left running around. The guy that usually does batteries caught a total attitude with me when I came over, ordering me to go over to Shipping and get another PE. Um, it's 5:30, you still have equipment running around. His attitude was pretty much 'you're screwed, haha, i'm going home!'. Asshole.
So I drove over to orderfilling, and saw the PE's lined up. I saw 207 sitting there, one I'd used many times before. It had a full battery, and was very fast. I had already hit my daily numbers, but wasn't satisfied, and now I was 30 minutes behind. Its computer would not boot up, leaving me very frustrated, on top of dealing with the guy's attitude. This afternoon is going to hell! Another hauler saw me and asked what was wrong. He got upset and told me he would talk to Mario, agreeing with me that it wasn't right (and he later told me that he saw the battery changer leave 45 minutes after I had brought the PE by). Now what the hell he was doing for that amount of time he couldn't change a battery is beyond me.
Now here's the fun part. I was back on B dock, and I found some tier racks that were going over to the shipping side. I had a lightbulb moment. Everyone had left for the day, meaning that there were machines galore, and there would be a good chance that 122 would be among them. Very slowly I said to myself 'I'm gonna go check this out...' I picked up the tier racks, and went straight into the conventional isles (I rode a module). You're not really supposed to do that, and I haven't since the day I trained on the machine, making turns with stuff on your forks. I'm sure I got a few crazy looks from the other haulers. I figured since my load went this direction, anyway, might as well multi-task, right? B dock turned up nothing. I was nearly at the end of C dock, about ready to drop off the load, when I saw it. There, sitting in a module, hiding towards the back, was my 122. I ran over and checked the battery. 100%! I parked 207 and switched everything over. I took off, and I was home. I love the taste of redemption! Every bad or annoying thing that had happened this weekend, this totally made up for it. So yeah, have fun with that dead PE, shipping crew.
We didn't leave until 7, and I was so exhausted, but looking forward to going home and spending Mother's Day with my parents, aunt, sister and nephews. When I got in my car and called home, my sister told me she had to get the boys back home, and they had to leave. They'd already eaten and everything. They didn't wait for me. I couldn't help what time I got off, and I was so looking forward to it. I was angry. I didn't even get to see my relatives on Saturday night, and now I wasn't going to see my sister, either. I sat in my car at the warehouse a good 15 minutes, too upset to drive. The events of the day, plus exhaustion, plus now hearing this, and that did it. I had no desire of going home, anymore, but had nowhere else to go, plus I hated to hurt my mom's feelings by not going home.
About the time I pulled out of the lot, John texted me. I told him about what happened with my family. He told me he was heading back to Louisiana for work, tonight. After I got home and took a long bath, I gave my mom her gift, and called John. He decided to stop by on his way out of town. He isn't sure how long he'll be out there, but it was his last chance to see me, probably for a while. It was 1am, everyone had gone to bed, so John and I sat outside and talked. I love his stories; maybe he should get his own show, too. He couldn't stay long, as he had a long drive, and I'd been up nearly 24 hours. I could literally see my brain cells dying off. I was glad to see him, and we promised to hang out more when he comes back. That was a great end to such a weird weekend.
And now, I'm off to wreak havoc on the world. And catch up on sleep. Until next time...
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Just when you thought it was safe...
Music: the air conditioner. Where's my blanket....
12a
I was working on another post when I decided to post this one instead. I'll post that one eventually. I thought I would be too sore today to do much else but mill around on the computer.
Wrong!
Things went smoother than I thought they would this morning. I was up before 7 and feeling a little nervous. I went on to the dentist, and didn't have to wait very long. I was ready to get this over with! I got a room with a view, and I got to look at....the ceiling, ha ha. The worst part of the whole process was when they drilled out the tooth, and breathing in that stuff is nasty. I kept holding my breath. They took an impression by sticking a popsicle stick-like thing with a jelly-like substance in my mouth and told me to bite down for two minutes. Okay, I'm timing you! Five minutes passed, and I thought I was going to lose my hold on it from fatigue. My jaw was shaking. I kept calm and pictured John sitting across from me, my moral support. The first impression didn't take, so they had to do another one. Great. Another eternity of clamping down on my jaw. Take it out already! :P
They finally got what they needed (a violent gag-reflex doesn't help matters), and I was asked to come back in tomorrow to have the crown itself put on. The nurse popped a temporary one on for the time being. I didn't think about the fact that crowns are either silver or metal.
I had braces for four years.
Waking up with a metal taste in your mouth every morning sucks.
So I am hoping that the official crown itself is ceramic or porcelain. I'm thinking that won't be as bad as having this metal crap in my mouth right now. The taste is rather interesting. I'd really prefer not to have that sensation the rest of my life, no?
I came home and thought I'd just rest the whole day, but now I needed to see about my printer, check my paycheck to be sure they paid me for my days off, clean the bedroom, fill up my car and go to the store. Ugh. I'd planned on doing all of this tomorrow when I wasn't sore. And I really wasn't all that sore (they numbed the side of my mouth they were working on), except for a mild headache. I am just so glad to have the worst part of this out of the way...
So looking things over, I realize I probably won't meet my goal of getting my own place this summer. I wasn't expecting all of the medical bills to pile up, but I sure as hell don't want to be in debt. Especially not when looking for apartments. Am I disappointed? Not really. The question is "what can I do to make this happen?" And it will happen, it just won't come as soon as I'd hoped. What I really want at this point is to just get all of these problems fixed, pay off what I can, and save every penny I can. I want to be beautiful again and get my confidence back, and this will be a huge step. I know it is hard for my friends to understand why I feel the way I do, but having their support means the world to me. And I do have their support. I am strong, and I will get through this. If I can make over 6 months in the worst kind of hell you can imagine, then this should be a piece of cake!
I feel empowered all of a sudden...blame it on the drugs, but I really do feel that this is all just part of the bigger picture. I'm not trying to push or rush things...but I hope this means my life is truly about to start.
I am going to try to finish my other blog tomorrow. Til then, goodnight.
12a
I was working on another post when I decided to post this one instead. I'll post that one eventually. I thought I would be too sore today to do much else but mill around on the computer.
Wrong!
Things went smoother than I thought they would this morning. I was up before 7 and feeling a little nervous. I went on to the dentist, and didn't have to wait very long. I was ready to get this over with! I got a room with a view, and I got to look at....the ceiling, ha ha. The worst part of the whole process was when they drilled out the tooth, and breathing in that stuff is nasty. I kept holding my breath. They took an impression by sticking a popsicle stick-like thing with a jelly-like substance in my mouth and told me to bite down for two minutes. Okay, I'm timing you! Five minutes passed, and I thought I was going to lose my hold on it from fatigue. My jaw was shaking. I kept calm and pictured John sitting across from me, my moral support. The first impression didn't take, so they had to do another one. Great. Another eternity of clamping down on my jaw. Take it out already! :P
They finally got what they needed (a violent gag-reflex doesn't help matters), and I was asked to come back in tomorrow to have the crown itself put on. The nurse popped a temporary one on for the time being. I didn't think about the fact that crowns are either silver or metal.
I had braces for four years.
Waking up with a metal taste in your mouth every morning sucks.
So I am hoping that the official crown itself is ceramic or porcelain. I'm thinking that won't be as bad as having this metal crap in my mouth right now. The taste is rather interesting. I'd really prefer not to have that sensation the rest of my life, no?
I came home and thought I'd just rest the whole day, but now I needed to see about my printer, check my paycheck to be sure they paid me for my days off, clean the bedroom, fill up my car and go to the store. Ugh. I'd planned on doing all of this tomorrow when I wasn't sore. And I really wasn't all that sore (they numbed the side of my mouth they were working on), except for a mild headache. I am just so glad to have the worst part of this out of the way...
So looking things over, I realize I probably won't meet my goal of getting my own place this summer. I wasn't expecting all of the medical bills to pile up, but I sure as hell don't want to be in debt. Especially not when looking for apartments. Am I disappointed? Not really. The question is "what can I do to make this happen?" And it will happen, it just won't come as soon as I'd hoped. What I really want at this point is to just get all of these problems fixed, pay off what I can, and save every penny I can. I want to be beautiful again and get my confidence back, and this will be a huge step. I know it is hard for my friends to understand why I feel the way I do, but having their support means the world to me. And I do have their support. I am strong, and I will get through this. If I can make over 6 months in the worst kind of hell you can imagine, then this should be a piece of cake!
I feel empowered all of a sudden...blame it on the drugs, but I really do feel that this is all just part of the bigger picture. I'm not trying to push or rush things...but I hope this means my life is truly about to start.
I am going to try to finish my other blog tomorrow. Til then, goodnight.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
May is finally here.
Music: "Everything" - Maya
11:50p
I'm just saying, May can't get here fast enough. I'm tired of being cold, and this unusual weather pattern is driving me up the wall. It's warm during the week, then we get a cold front, and bam, I freeze my ass off when I go to work on weekends. Only in the mornings, though, then it warms right back up.
What the hell? Did Summer decide it is going to take a break this year? I hope not! I am ready for warmer temps, and ready to go swim and do things outdoors again. Not to mention not freeze at the warehouse?
Not only that, but Spring, namely severe weather season has been very quiet this year, and while that is a really good thing in terms of there hasn't been any major outbreaks (tornadoes, etc), there hasn't been any severe weather. Nothing interesting enough for me to follow streams online of chasers. I don't learn anything that way. We're now going into May, into peak season, but also towards what is usually the end of the season, as well. I'd so very much hoped to get some experience this year and finally decide if this is really what I want to do (of course, I won't decide fully until I go on an actual storm chase with the pros). I'm not learning what I thought I would be, so back to square one I go; internet research, and following along with whatever nibble from the chasers I can get. It's better than nothing, and it scratches that itch, if only for a minute.
This weather is fucked up. But yet, there is no Global Warming. Yes, you should always believe what your government tells you! They know all!
Back in reality, it was a good weekend. I took off Saturday and Sunday. Saturday my sis threw a birthday for her, her husband, and my mom. We headed out to Cypress in the worst rainstorm I'd seen in a while; it rained on us the entire way, and sometimes it was so heavy you couldn't see the cars in front of you. It was the rain we weren't supposed to get..only 20% for the day! It caught everyone completely off-guard, and they have the flooded-out vehicles to prove it.
I wish I could sue every last one of those meteorologist-wanna-be's. Yes, even Frank.
We finally made it to Cypress, and the rain showed no sign of letting up. A lot of people had cancelled, but there was plenty of food for us! The kids watched basketball, and the adults got drunk and had a good time. A few of us adults jumped in the hot tub outside, as the pool (which had been heated before the damn rain) was now too cold to go swim in. So there we were, me and my sis and some of her friends all in the hot tub.
In the pouring rain. With lightning all around. It was a blast!
My brother-in-law, Rob, made a comment, and said 'may I be struck by lightning if I'm lying'.
A few minutes later, a huge lightning bolt touched down right behind the house. Aaaand, that was it for me. Out I went. Rob did it, it was his fault!
Despite the rain that showed no sign of letting up (and never did), the DJ still came and set up under the porch in the backyard, and people got up there and sang. I was hammered by this point, and I had started to beg every guy I came across to do a rap song with me. I finally convinced a guy named Ryan to do an Eminem song with me. It wasn't very good, either! Ha, but it was a blast. We didn't care how much we sucked. Gotta love drunken karaoke.
Someone had the race turned on, but with all the goings-on, I wasn't too concentrated on it. The rain continued, but we made the best of it. I was in and out of the hot tub all night, in the pouring rain (and enjoying a cool lightning show and downing shots left and right), and having a good time despite the stupid weather. I kept looking for key people to make more shots. We had one last round, and I was gone after that. I went and sat down on the couch and watched the last laps of the race, and didn't move. My sis even started literally shoving cake down my throat, trying to sober me up. It was funny. I'm pretty sure she needed some, too.
We headed home after that. I sank down in the backseat and threw my hoodie on, and didn't move. My whole body felt like a dead weight. I'm pretty sure I had Above and Beyond's "A Thing Called Love" played about 8 times in a row on my iPod. I really just hoped it would lull me to sleep, along with the car going down the road. It rained on us the whole way home, too. I got home, and didn't even bother with a shower. I went straight to bed.
Sunday was my mom's birthday, so we went out to Baytown. I bought her lunch, and we went and looked around the mall. We talked about the party the night before, and all the crazy drunks in the hot tub (cough). I spent the day with her, and when my dad came home she opened her cards. She had a good birthday.
The last two days have been spent cleaning this house from top to bottom. I love it when people tell me how clean my house is. Ha! If only you knew! I am good at cleaning, I'll tell you that, and I think it's to the point of being obsessive if I really get into it. The house is clean now, and we did all that cleaning in advance of my aunt flying in...well, today now. She will be down for her yearly visit. I can't wait to see her, as always. I love spending time with her, and I know she loves spending time with me and my parents. So excited!
I'm off to bed, hoping I can catch up on sleep and get some of my energy back. I just heard from a friend that we are supposed to be pretty heavy this weekend, so better enjoy this mini-vaca while I have it. 6 days go by really fast when you're busy!
Goodnight, more to come soon.
11:50p
I'm just saying, May can't get here fast enough. I'm tired of being cold, and this unusual weather pattern is driving me up the wall. It's warm during the week, then we get a cold front, and bam, I freeze my ass off when I go to work on weekends. Only in the mornings, though, then it warms right back up.
What the hell? Did Summer decide it is going to take a break this year? I hope not! I am ready for warmer temps, and ready to go swim and do things outdoors again. Not to mention not freeze at the warehouse?
Not only that, but Spring, namely severe weather season has been very quiet this year, and while that is a really good thing in terms of there hasn't been any major outbreaks (tornadoes, etc), there hasn't been any severe weather. Nothing interesting enough for me to follow streams online of chasers. I don't learn anything that way. We're now going into May, into peak season, but also towards what is usually the end of the season, as well. I'd so very much hoped to get some experience this year and finally decide if this is really what I want to do (of course, I won't decide fully until I go on an actual storm chase with the pros). I'm not learning what I thought I would be, so back to square one I go; internet research, and following along with whatever nibble from the chasers I can get. It's better than nothing, and it scratches that itch, if only for a minute.
This weather is fucked up. But yet, there is no Global Warming. Yes, you should always believe what your government tells you! They know all!
Back in reality, it was a good weekend. I took off Saturday and Sunday. Saturday my sis threw a birthday for her, her husband, and my mom. We headed out to Cypress in the worst rainstorm I'd seen in a while; it rained on us the entire way, and sometimes it was so heavy you couldn't see the cars in front of you. It was the rain we weren't supposed to get..only 20% for the day! It caught everyone completely off-guard, and they have the flooded-out vehicles to prove it.
I wish I could sue every last one of those meteorologist-wanna-be's. Yes, even Frank.
We finally made it to Cypress, and the rain showed no sign of letting up. A lot of people had cancelled, but there was plenty of food for us! The kids watched basketball, and the adults got drunk and had a good time. A few of us adults jumped in the hot tub outside, as the pool (which had been heated before the damn rain) was now too cold to go swim in. So there we were, me and my sis and some of her friends all in the hot tub.
In the pouring rain. With lightning all around. It was a blast!
My brother-in-law, Rob, made a comment, and said 'may I be struck by lightning if I'm lying'.
A few minutes later, a huge lightning bolt touched down right behind the house. Aaaand, that was it for me. Out I went. Rob did it, it was his fault!
Despite the rain that showed no sign of letting up (and never did), the DJ still came and set up under the porch in the backyard, and people got up there and sang. I was hammered by this point, and I had started to beg every guy I came across to do a rap song with me. I finally convinced a guy named Ryan to do an Eminem song with me. It wasn't very good, either! Ha, but it was a blast. We didn't care how much we sucked. Gotta love drunken karaoke.
Someone had the race turned on, but with all the goings-on, I wasn't too concentrated on it. The rain continued, but we made the best of it. I was in and out of the hot tub all night, in the pouring rain (and enjoying a cool lightning show and downing shots left and right), and having a good time despite the stupid weather. I kept looking for key people to make more shots. We had one last round, and I was gone after that. I went and sat down on the couch and watched the last laps of the race, and didn't move. My sis even started literally shoving cake down my throat, trying to sober me up. It was funny. I'm pretty sure she needed some, too.
We headed home after that. I sank down in the backseat and threw my hoodie on, and didn't move. My whole body felt like a dead weight. I'm pretty sure I had Above and Beyond's "A Thing Called Love" played about 8 times in a row on my iPod. I really just hoped it would lull me to sleep, along with the car going down the road. It rained on us the whole way home, too. I got home, and didn't even bother with a shower. I went straight to bed.
Sunday was my mom's birthday, so we went out to Baytown. I bought her lunch, and we went and looked around the mall. We talked about the party the night before, and all the crazy drunks in the hot tub (cough). I spent the day with her, and when my dad came home she opened her cards. She had a good birthday.
The last two days have been spent cleaning this house from top to bottom. I love it when people tell me how clean my house is. Ha! If only you knew! I am good at cleaning, I'll tell you that, and I think it's to the point of being obsessive if I really get into it. The house is clean now, and we did all that cleaning in advance of my aunt flying in...well, today now. She will be down for her yearly visit. I can't wait to see her, as always. I love spending time with her, and I know she loves spending time with me and my parents. So excited!
I'm off to bed, hoping I can catch up on sleep and get some of my energy back. I just heard from a friend that we are supposed to be pretty heavy this weekend, so better enjoy this mini-vaca while I have it. 6 days go by really fast when you're busy!
Goodnight, more to come soon.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)