Let the countdown begin.

Music: Trance compilation on YT.
7:30p

As I sit here and count the days, hours, and minutes, I am feeling oddly calm. Of course, the real fun hasn't started yet, and I'm just waiting for the emotions I know are coming, to set in.

I'm afraid. I'm afraid of not doing my job right. I have so much more to learn, and everything is being thrown at me all at once. I am determined to use what I learned last Sunday and apply that to my last weekend of work. I know what I have to do, I just hope I do it right. 

I'm nervous. I'm nervous about the surgery. There is always a possibility of side-effects, but I don't believe that is what will set my nerves on edge. Sitting in that office on Tuesday, waiting to see my X-ray and discuss things with the dentist, it became more real. But, I'm also happy. Happy to finally have this behind me, and no more having to kill myself to wedge food from behind that stupid tooth. I've felt nothing but bliss since having my right side done, and in a few more days, I'll have no more to worry about. Everything will be back in balance, then on to the next and final step in this journey. I've got the moral support I need for next week. John will be there, and before I could discuss the plans for Tuesday, he beat me to it, asking me what time he will need to be at the house the morning of. Having him there means the world to me (even if he will be taking full advantage of my post-anesthesia ramblings). I'm still nervous. 

I am determined. Determined to start getting everything in order, and start paying off all these medical bills, so I can finally start to claim some independence. My car is almost totally paid for (even though I've really put some miles on her the past couple months), and I'm still compiling a list of apartments I want to check out. I'm determined to make 2014 an awesome year! 

My 30th birthday is a month away. I think that feeling is starting to set in. That feeling of what have I really accomplished. Of 'oh my God, I'm not in my 20's anymore'! Of 'oh my God, I'm 30'! Okay, so what have I accomplished? I've done so much with my job the past 10 years. I've never quit, never given up. Made many accomplishments, made many friends, and gotten more praise than I feel I deserve. So that might not be a lot, but it's mine. Personally, I'm getting what I want in the form of getting this problem fixed, so I can finally start living life, not having to hold back. There's still things I want to do, from a musical standpoint. This is only the beginning. 30 will come no matter what. I have so much to be thankful for, and THAT is an accomplishment in and of itself! 

Blessed. I don't know how I became so blessed with John. What did I do to deserve such a great guy? He really takes care of me (even though I don't need it :) ). He looks out for me. We have so much in common. I've been so blessed to have spent the time I have with him the past few weeks. He's like my best friend, and that's what I'm looking for. Someone I can joke around with and insult and we just laugh it off. Someone I can tell everything to. I know he'll be leaving soon, so I'm enjoying every minute I have with him. 

It's that time again, another weekend of busting my ass in the Texas heat. Some peak season this has been. No overtime, but I guess I'm not really complaining, because that's more time spent doing other things. Oy. The money would still be nice, though.....

Until next week.....I'm out.