Too early for this.

Music: Shogun- "Amplify"
12:15p

I can't believe how fast this month is going, already. I wish I could slow things down. But, that could always be a bad thing. Why is it that the older you get, the faster time goes? I don't think we'll ever know the answer.

I busted my ass this weekend in the heat and yesterday everything went to hell..quickly. I'm having a hard time keeping up with this job. I can't remember things, or steps. I have to write everything down. I'm two months in now almost, and while I don't plan on getting it down pat overnight (and there's still so much more to learn), I really want to get to the point to where I'm not having to track people down to ask questions. I want to be able to handle my own without leaning on others. It is proving to be a difficult task. I got really angry yesterday, and it was all I could do to not go marching off to my manger to ask her for better training. I was actually happy when they stuck me on the machine to go count slots. Yes, I said happy. Going up to the top is getting a little easier, as I'm not freaking out as much as I was. I still hate heights. That won't change. And, I was never so happy to get out of that place, even though it was nearly 6:30 when I finally clocked out. 

After a very interesting stop at Taco Bell for dinner (those damn kids could not make up their minds what radio station they wanted to listen to; I heard everything from R&B to Spanish, to oldies and new-age), I came home and took a long bath, but it did not relax me. I called John not long after, and the exhaustion finally caught up to me. It was all I could do to not pass out in my chair. I don't even know why I turned on my TV. 

This week I am taking time to relax and tie up the loose ends before I have to spend the next week out of commission, so to speak. I spent most of my time last week with John. It was so peaceful, just the two of us and no one else around. I was so happy there, that I was reluctant to make the 45 minute drive back home. I'm still hoping he'll be there with me next week, as my support. I don't know that I can do this without him there. 

So, this week, I'm going to enjoy getting out and eating everything in sight, because I'll be spending the majority of this next vacation at home and in bed. Although, the thought of being waited on hand and foot will be nice.....for the first two days. Then, somewhere along the line, I'll become annoyed, then get yelled at for getting out of bed and moving around. I'm anxious, nervous, excited and relieved to finally have this out of the way. But mostly anxious. Right now, I'm enjoying being pain and torture-free. 

With that, I'm off to go find trouble like only I can find it.